Just started a couple months back with daily afternoon companionship for Mom (with dementia). She lives in her own home and this is the first step to her accepting assistance. She's very healthy and mobile but has dementia. We've focused on 'companionship' and the extra socializing has helped her allot. The first girl we found is really great. Even our neurologist was surprised at how great our caregiver is and that Mom is better.
She does cooking, crafts, laughing, and keeping things upbeat for Mom. She even calls her Grandma and Mom loves her. Her personality and disposition are great. The issues 1) she leaves little notes for Mom to call her daily (creating a habit), 2) she highlighted her speed dial phone button so Mom knows to call HER, 3) she calls Mom 1-2 a day even the days she isn't there, 4) she put her number in Mom's purse for emergencies, 5) she has recently gotten in the middle of years long family strife (between us present/involved family members and those not present/but critical family members). I had given her a heads up about what was going on because Mom talks unfiltered and has had upsetting episodes and I've had to clue her in because of her integration in Mom's life. We hate that she got dragged into family politics. Now I fear I have to somewhat filter our almost daily conversations. She calls after every visit with Mom.
We know she dos a great job with Mom and would hate for Mom to lose that relationship but should these things alarm us?
For example. Feeling free to ring Tracy for a daily gossip, fine. Tracy's being the first port of call for help, not fine. Caregivers organising a surprise party for your mother, lovely. Caregivers doing same without prior reference to the family members who ***are your mother's primary caregivers n.b.***, much less lovely and in fact a pain in the neck.
It's a question of delicate pruning. I suggest talking to them together so that neither feels "got at" personally, and setting out ground rules that you've thought through in detail beforehand - perhaps even composing a kind of manual for use by them and any future HCA's who might come on the scene. It wouldn't hurt to involve your mother, too, as far as she's able to be involved - you could explain to her, perhaps, that there are laws about this sort of thing, and your aim is to avoid potential trouble for these lovely ladies by making everything nice and clear.
You don't say how you have gone about hiring these people? Are you going through an agency or recruiting privately?