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Barriers barriers barriers - she is working outside the boundaries here. Just rein her in gently. If I was really concerned and to be fair in this situation I would be I would have put some cctv in just to keep an eye. Then if all is well and good then great - if not then at l;east you need to talk at worst call the police. Abuse never has been about violence but about control and it does look from what you have said that she is controlling all of you right now! sorry for the bluntness and absolutely no offence meant she may be marvellous but for me ....alarm bells are ringing
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It would be shame to lose such a good caregiver, but your concerns are valid. You should have a heart to heart talk with her trying not to cause or place blame, let her now how much she is appreciated, but try and set some boundaries with her. Diplomacy might be the key word here. Fix it without hurt feelings and ruffled feathers.
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