When we moved in 3 years ago to care for mother and my step-dad, we gave them $350/month to help on bills and food. When my brother found out that we were doing this, he told my mother we should not be paying her...that she should be paying us. This made her so mad. We stopped giving her this money because my brother thought it was just terrible. I continued to feel guilty and mother would make rude comments about us not helping out. So, we started giving her $200.00/month and we also buy groceries all during the month to help out and buy some foods that my husband and I like. The other day, she told me we weren't helping her enough. Her bank statements always shows an increase in her monthly balance. She is doing financially well. She's 83 and has a very negative dispostion, but she has lots of health problems. We will continue to give her the money because I get tired of her making me feel guilty. What do most people do...pay or not pay their parents?
Have her cost out what it would be or what you do for her and she can tell you how much your room and board adds to her cost. Then subtract and see who owes who.
I don't know your financial situation but she really should be paying YOU if it doesn't create a severe hardship for her. Goodness what about your financial future? I know money is such a touchy issue for all of us.
Even if your mother never appreciates one thing you do, you will recieve your reward in heaven.
Please take a break for your own sanity! God Bless.
Woweeee....I thought I had heard it all. Note to Elders: let's be a little more grateful for caring family members by honoring and respecting them.
Are either you or your husband also holding down a job? There are so many variables to consider. Please give more info on your situation.
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