Mom will say some nasty things, behind my back. Then when I ask "what was that about?" She denies that she said anything. She also does strange things, like putting here dirty tp in the wastebasket. When I ask here why she did that, she says " I saw that there, and I wondered why did someone put that there" She then says " you must have done it"!
I do know that mom has developed a "thing" like a child does, where she does no wrong, it is always someone else's fault or doing.
So we develop a thick skin, we learn to live on less sleep, we learn to pick our battles, and sometimes we just have to let things go.
Hugs! and Good luck!
I'm sure for you it's exceptionally difficult being your mom's full time caregiver. Can you get some respite care? Try to get some time off and try to refuel your energy. Daily caregiving is a huge job. I admire anyone who can do it.
It's a daily struggle for both of you..As txcamper said "you have to pick your battles".
My tongue is swollen and bloody on a daily basis,but I know in my heart that this is NOT the women who raised me.. If she could go back to her old self she would in a heart beat!
Dementia is mentioned in the title.
The good thing is that the sewer hasn't backed up in a few months. Knock on wood. The bad thing is that I want to burn that trash can. P-U.
This Aging Care website has a lot of good articles about this problem. https://www.agingcare.com/Alzheimers-Dementia now scroll down to the articles of interest. You can find more material just by going up to the blue bar near the top of the page and clicking on SENIOR LIVING or any of the other titles.
I had to set boundaries to protect myself. "our" bedroom became "mine" only. I left him due to verbal & emotional abuse. Later we had a diagnosis of dementia so I came home to be his caretaker. Sickness is different from simply abusive. But his paranoia, abuse, blaming anyone but himself, interruption of a discussion so he could spend a lot of time trying to rebuild a lost memory, confabulations, false memories and weird conclusions about what I must be thinking (without ever asking me) caused major disruptions in our lives. Does any of this sound familiar?
For the last 1.5 years my hubby has calmed down considerably, is easier to get along with, still sabotages some things I try to get done, but overall has improved 80%. I can't explain it and our neurologist won't retest him in any way.
He does strange things, too. If I write "Ritz crackers" on the shopping list, he will buy 3-4 boxes with whatever varieties there are. If I write "Silkience hand lotion" he will buy 3-4 different named lotions for me to try. He multiplies whatever is written on the shopping list. We are grossly overstocked. He shops almost daily. I even specify the number of an item needed but that only helps sometimes.
He has other strange habits, too. He will deny responsibility for something he did---mostly because he can't remember he did it or because he can't ever be wrong. It seems as if he knows he's lying, but the need to always be faultless is so strong and ingrained in him he automatically assumes someone else is at fault. I hope telling you this makes you feel better. He sounds similar to your Mom in some ways (but your Mom is less extreme).