My dad is 95 years old with advanced Alzheimer’s. he is in a 40 person assisted-living facility that also has memory care mixed in the population. I have a sister who keeps pushing to try to keep dad active physically, but myself and the other siblings involved see that he is very tired. We have been having him use the walker to go from his recliner to the bathroom when he’s in his room. Otherwise he’s in a wheelchair when he goes out into the common areas, he used to have physical therapy, but they had to drop it because they said he was not cooperating, sleeping most of the time in his wheelchair, and for Medicare to pay, he has to show the potential for progress which he does not. When do you stop pushing? That’s my feeling. We take turns to visit dad every day and help him eat dinner and get him situated in his room and visit for several hours. we also have overnight caretakers with him because he had a couple of falls when he first moved in a couple of years ago. But my sister is insisting we try to find more physical therapy and she wants us to try to push dad more physically. Trying to get him to do exercises and trying to get him to walk more. Last night when the caretakers took him to the bathroom, they literally had to drag him with the walker and he has had two,slow slips this week alone. The girls were with him so it wasn’t harmful, but I can tell the times he just doesn’t want to walk. Again, do you just keep them comfortable, happy, and safe or do you keep pushing? What are your thoughts on this?
There is certainly no problem with having a PT consult for safety issues, but I would speak with the therapist about speaking with the daughter currently having such a problem dealing with the realities. And I would more lean soon toward palliative or hospice care.
Try to talk with your sister. If you're unable then suggest she seek some therapy, perhaps with a Licensed Social Worker in private practice who works with life transitions work.
My folks use to walk around the neighborhood, two miles, when they were in their 80's. Once they hit 90's, they realized they could no longer walk that far, they could no longer do their volunteer work, they could no longer do yard work, etc.. It's life. That's why ages ago, senior living facilities use to be called "rest homes".
"The rest of us are sitting at home watching the marathon on TV."
It is soooo true! My sister ran marathons until she couldn't anymore - she had cancer. But good for the ones that do and for those who can't lets let them have peace!
I too agree your sister is in denial. Maybe the Nurse can explain to her that exercise, at this point, is fruitless.
If you ask a doctor and it's free, id maybe go for it if that's what your dad wanted.
But your dad's 95 I agree with what waytomisery says. Let him just enjoy his ice cream.