I fell like my heart is going to break. He has become very vicious with me. had to call 911 on Saturday=again on Monday. They didn't admit him to hospital. WHY?? Was told if I refused to tke him home.- state would ake over guardianship. ery quickly losing it!
I can understand your heart is breaking, he's not the same person you had married, and it's not his fault, it's that darn disease. Once he is in a nursing home, you can take a long deep breathe and be able to sleep at night.... then as ba8alou had said above, you can visit him and advocate for him to get the best of care.
A friend recently placed his wife and it was an excruciating decision for him. His wife had become combative and aggressive and was wandering. It was hard for him to comes to grips with he was not able to keep her safe any longer and that his wife would not want the constant care of her the sole responsibility to fall to him.
Had to put my aunt in a home very recently, because she was wandering off (regularly found inthe road, cars near missing etc),and lighting the stove at 3am etc.
Your heart with soothe once he settles in. It may take a while and hemay be verbally abusive to start, but that is normal. Speak to the staff, they can guide you. And keep writing on here... this site is a fantastic source of support.
Nothing but love and support for you.
Big hug.
Please give yourself time to adjust, and to recover a little from the terrible stress you've been living with. I hope you'll soon begin to feel reassured that you have done the right thing - and his settling in well is a good start. Hugs to you.
You need to focus in yourself more now and rest in that your hubby is being well cared for and you both are out if danger. ((((((hugs)))))
Give yourself and hubby a little time to adjust. Follow social worker's advice.
What you need to do now is take very good care of yourself... you will feel a huge come down now that your body is not enduring all those stress hormones and adrenaline created by having to care full time for an abusive partner.
Just watch yourself, make sure you eat regularly, get out a little each day etc. You may feel a little under the weather, so take good care.
You are bound to feel sad/guilty/lonely... whilst there is a huge release, he was once your datling hubby. But you do get to visit, on your terms this time.
During this period of adjustment I'd keep posting on this thread with how you are feeling, or if you need advice/support/a rant.
Lots of lovely people on here who have been through what you are going through.
Great support resource.
Not sure if hubby alienated your girlfriends, or if you became isolated whilst caring?
Would be worth calling them up for support too, think they'd be very pleased to hear from you.
Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling. Acknowlege it, and take it into your heart.
That way it won't consume you.
It's OK to be upset. Totally normal.
Love and a big hug
Niki xx
And making decisions FOR another person, in essence, taking their own power/free will away WILL weigh on you heavier than anything else.
But if you move your ego out of the way, make every decision you are required to make FOR then and NOT for yourself, you will be doing the right thing and feel good about YOU when you look at yourself in the mirror.