I fell like my heart is going to break. He has become very vicious with me. had to call 911 on Saturday=again on Monday. They didn't admit him to hospital. WHY?? Was told if I refused to tke him home.- state would ake over guardianship. ery quickly losing it!
Look after yourself. You did the best you could for as long as you could. You may not feel like it right now because you feel natural guilt, but you should be proud you kept him at home as long as you did. It's an exhausting and lonely and often thankless task.
Be at peace knowing he is in a place where he will be cared for by folk who understand the condition.
Space out your visits if he is abusive. Hopefully he will settle in and become calmer. Speak to the member of staff there that you trust/like the most about what they recommend visit wise short term.
Cruel cruel illness.
Take care of you now.
I would listen to the social worker and take her cue regarding visitation over the next few weeks as hubby adjusts and of course you adjust to the new normal. I'm sorry you are going thru this hard time, but try to stay positive and know you did the right thing -- you don't have to be anxious or fearful anymore...you can just be the loving wife and partner you want to be and leave the caregiving to skilled nurses and CNAs. Concentrate on making those moments special with little treats for both you and hubby.
And making decisions FOR another person, in essence, taking their own power/free will away WILL weigh on you heavier than anything else.
But if you move your ego out of the way, make every decision you are required to make FOR then and NOT for yourself, you will be doing the right thing and feel good about YOU when you look at yourself in the mirror.
Give yourself and hubby a little time to adjust. Follow social worker's advice.
What you need to do now is take very good care of yourself... you will feel a huge come down now that your body is not enduring all those stress hormones and adrenaline created by having to care full time for an abusive partner.
Just watch yourself, make sure you eat regularly, get out a little each day etc. You may feel a little under the weather, so take good care.
You are bound to feel sad/guilty/lonely... whilst there is a huge release, he was once your datling hubby. But you do get to visit, on your terms this time.
During this period of adjustment I'd keep posting on this thread with how you are feeling, or if you need advice/support/a rant.
Lots of lovely people on here who have been through what you are going through.
Great support resource.
Not sure if hubby alienated your girlfriends, or if you became isolated whilst caring?
Would be worth calling them up for support too, think they'd be very pleased to hear from you.
Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling. Acknowlege it, and take it into your heart.
That way it won't consume you.
It's OK to be upset. Totally normal.
Love and a big hug
Niki xx
You need to focus in yourself more now and rest in that your hubby is being well cared for and you both are out if danger. ((((((hugs)))))
Please give yourself time to adjust, and to recover a little from the terrible stress you've been living with. I hope you'll soon begin to feel reassured that you have done the right thing - and his settling in well is a good start. Hugs to you.
Had to put my aunt in a home very recently, because she was wandering off (regularly found inthe road, cars near missing etc),and lighting the stove at 3am etc.
Your heart with soothe once he settles in. It may take a while and hemay be verbally abusive to start, but that is normal. Speak to the staff, they can guide you. And keep writing on here... this site is a fantastic source of support.
Nothing but love and support for you.
Big hug.