POA? Pending decision.
To understand this post you will have to go a few months back to read my older posts. I have a sister that is 62 and lives in a camper trailer. She lives alone with 2 dogs. Forward, my mother is in rehab at a rehabilitation/ nursing home to get her strength back again to walk. She has two weeks left and I have located her a low income apartment because she cannot afford anything else. My sister called the manager asking if she could move in with Mother to be her caregiver. Mom, doesn't want her to move in with her anywhere, anymore. She has done this before when my mother had another low income apartment in different town. She went to moms doctor and had them to sign that she was mothers caregiver. She didn't do any care at all, just living there making mothers life miserable. Sister is very controlling, curses mom, puts her down and nags her all the time. Mom is always crying and frustrated. Mom paid the bills, bought food, let her do laundry and sister lived there for free. This happend a year ago. She is trying to do the same to her again. Mother asked me the oldest of to be her POA. I went to a lawyer to have it written up , but got cold feet and had it canceled. I have already been under a lot of stress, I just didn't want to put myself and my family through more addded stress and drama. I am scared my sister will take control and mother will be put somewhere else in another town. If she were to find a way to do it she would, whether mom approved of it or not. The question still stands, should I file for POA or or just let it be??? Thanks to all who replies!
The other thing to remember is that while your mother is competent NO ONE can act as her POA unless she requests them to act.
So if Mother cannot learn to say "no" to your sister, nothing here will be solved by any magical powers in a POA document.
Your mother needs to tell your sister that she cannot move in with her.
If she cannot muster the strength to do that, then sister will move in, no matter presence of some piece of paper or not.
Back to the POA document. It is your mother that signs this, not you. It is your mother who makes this, not you. It is only for you to decide whether you wish to BE the POA, and that isn't, of course, something that WE can decide for you, a grown adult who is managing your own life.
If mom is competent, she needs to be strong and say no to sissy. Too bad is she doesn't like it. Your mom doesn't like living with her. So there ya go.
I would also call the manager and the doctor and tell them that mom does not want sister to live with her. Even though you have no true power, at least they will be on alert that there is an issue and maybe will dig a little deeper before allowing this to happen.
If you're worried that your sister may run roughshod over your Mom and you wish to prevent this, then your Mom needs to assign someone other than her.
From what I've read on this forum Section 8 housing will not allow non-qualified applicants to live there, regardless of the needs of the senior.
You will need to decide: you won't be able to have it both ways -- unless you can help your Mom find another willing, local and competent PoA (who is at least 1 generation younger that herself).