I have been Mom's caregiver for the last 2.5 years. I am one of 6 sisters, of which 4 live locally. We all decided to move Mom into Assisted Living; Mom's been there 1 month. The youngest has been POA for 10 years, next sister is an attorney. I have been the house caretaker as well, dealing with a hoarding situation and many others, with no help from the other 5 sisters. We (POA and I) recently had a disagreement about Mom's money - whether a sum was a loan or a gift. Now the POA has locked me out of our family home of 65 years in retaliation. Can she do this? Also, she and the lawyer sis will not disclose Mom's total assets nor reveal any details on a savings account, where foul play is suspected. The other sisters don't seem to care. Help! The lawyer removed Mom's name from that formerly joint account about 6 years ago, without consent. Is this legal? Mom has some dementia, so they claim to be 'protecting' her. In fact, they have had exclusive access to Mom's funds with no oversight. Is this legal?
People who have been doing the heavy lifting in care, for free, often think that they deserve some compensation when it all comes to an end. It is one of the biggest disappointments and sources of friction when that simply doesn’t happen, because it hasn’t been organised in advance. 'Being wonderful' is rewarding at the care time, but it doesn't guarantee compensation when it's over.
You say that another sister is an attorney. See where she stands on all of this.
Best wishes and prayers !!!!!!
The gift/loan. Did you get it in writing that it was a gift? Did Mom claim it anywhere on her taxes? If Mom ever needs Medicaid and that gift was made within the 5 yr lookback, she will be penalized.
FYI banks are very touchy and strict so I am doubtful about your claim that "The lawyer removed Mom's name from that formerly joint account about 6 years ago, without consent." Lawyers don't have that power (maybe judges do) and banks don't allow it -- unless the lawyer was also your Mom's legal guardian.
We are only getting your side of the story. I don't think you like the changes and lack of control and don't understand the responsibilities of the PoA. I agree with others who say that you should view this release as caregiver as a gift. Let the PoA carry out her responsibilities -- after all, your Mom chose her. Now move on with your life.
Were you able to purchase the house on your own at market value? Were you paying rent or contributing with any payments? Were you evicted? Somehow I doubt it. You were living in mom's senior apartment. Once vacated, there is no longer need to pay rent and your name may or may not have been on the renters agreement.
The 2 sisters just released you from being your moms caregiver. This should now be a relief to you. You can now find a job and a new meaning for your life. Sort of as a gift. Think about this...now you can visit mom to enjoy your memories with her without the responsibilities. Because mom's future care will become more of a burden in the future and she will need more care for her safety.
It is also a dreadful mess when siblings begin to squabble over a still alive parent. You should see an attorney with your problems and get personal advice you can trust to be legally competent. A Forum with all the opinions of all of us (including me) is nothing to rely upon legally.