I have a family member my brother decide to get a power turn and not adding other family members on it. Other sibling know he's very controlling he has a power attorney but he's not helping our mother that had a stroke and got dying with cancer. He's not trying to give her no kind of medical help and he want us to know anything what he's planning on doing with her. He's creeping me out I don't know what's going on but I do know I love my mama and she is about her and she needs help. I try to talk to him he doesn't want me to get no information about our mother and he's not making the right decision till she end up being abused again in a different nursing home. What can I do to help my mother. I would like to be a caregiver but he has a power attorney and he's like he was slowly want my mother to get sicker. I don't want to be no enemies with my brother but I don't see him do anything to help. Now I need guidance and help and pray to somebody can pray for me and help me to get my mother out of a nursing home. She's been in enough use and my brother is making the wrong decision is destruction right now
I'm sorry that your brother has taken over your mom's life with his Power of Attorney. I never understand when someone gets POA and the person becomes drunk with power. It's pathetic.
I understand you wanting to get your mom out of the nursing home but that might have to be a longer term goal. A more immediate goal might be to be able to see your mom. Then to see her on a regular basis. See how all of that goes with your brother lording over your mom. If it becomes possible for you to see your mom it might be a bumpy road with your brother so plans to get your mom out of the nursing home might have to wait a while.
I would suggest you consult with an attorney yourself. A POA doesn't typically give someone the legal right to exercise control over a person's personal relationships. In other words, your brother's POA over your mom can't legally stop you from seeing your mom. However, nursing homes generally won't get involved in family disputes and if the POA of one of their residents doesn't want specific people visiting, the nursing home will likely go along with that.
If your goal is to see your mom, try approaching your brother in an email and expressing to him that you'd like to see her. Try not to fight with him about it. While that may be satisfying it won't get you want you want which is to see your mom.
Try to re-connect with your mom by visiting and calling her and then revisit the idea of taking her out of the nursing home. In the meantime you can come up with a plan of how you'll be able to care for her on your own if you do succeed in getting her out of the nursing home. If you find that your brother continues to be an obstacle to seeing your mom, send her cards and letters to let her know you're thinking of her.
I would encourage you to try and support your brother and his decisions about mom and her care, get involved and see mom daily to ensure that she is getting the best care available. You can be a helping, loving daughter and advocate for her until the time is right for her to be able to go home.
It is difficult when one sibling is making decisions, it is equally difficult to be the one making those decisions, mom assigned your brother POA, honor her decision with support or at least no criticism. Be there for mom and let the other situation with your brother go for now.
Sending you a big hug & lots of prayers that things work out the way you'd like them to.