My mother recently signed over POA to both me and my brother. My brother and his wife have taken charge without asking me if this was ok. They've removed her from her home and have taken her to live with them in a cramped home. Whereas I have space and are being told you can't take her. She is due for surgery and would like to use her old doctor yet my brother and his wife have taken it upon themselves to find her a new doctor. She's in the beginning stages of Alzheimers, she has clear moments in between. When I talk to her it's all fine she tells me her wishes and when I say I will help, suddenly I get pushed away and they take over. What are my rights and is a POA valid in every state? They are not abusing her but persuading her to think like them. We are not children we are in our 50's and I am the oldest. I want to know legally can I do something against my brothers actions? or do I have to sit back in another state and wait till it all falls apart. I am very torn right now.
Gretta and Rufus's mom (Not my offical aging care name - which I've forgotten)
She sat on the ethics board of a large Southern California hospital. Based on the problems I've read about here and on other sites regarding legal authority, she really knew what she was talking about. The moral of the story is don't agree to take on any of the responsibility if you don't have all the authority.
Once your Mom cant walk or talk, or becomes incontinent, they will be begging you to take her and then you can, to prevent a NH. Good luck
I live in Florida, my mother and bother live in another state. He is her only POA. I feel there is some resentment because he is there, working full time and the only one who can do anything for her legally. I also feel I am being left out for "some" reason.
All in all it comes down to respect and communication. You, unlike me, have all legal rights to know everything that is going on with your mother. I would consult an attorney just in case you suspect fraud. But before you do that, try having a serious discussion with your brother about the issues.
I agree with the person who said they will be more than happy to call on you when things get tough. I am just sitting back waiting for the day my mother really needs me. Unlike your mother, I have been insulted, lied about and disrespected. We will see how things change when the rubber meets the road.
The really difficult thing right now is, since there wasn't a clear demarcation and your moms mind prior to her probable impairment, because those worthless lawyers made you and your brother "CO" responsible, if you try to sort it out legally with a lawyer now, it will most likely end up as a conservatorship battle in court and when there are feuding siblings, the judge is likely to appoint an outside party who could, and it has happened many times, prevent you or your brother from having anything to say about your mom.
A travesti for sure...
Your poor Mom is stuck in the middle. Your brother could steal or mismanage her bank accounts you could be liable! Yes, as POA you have legal responsibilities. As a POA, if you feel your mother is incompetent and you dont report it, then you can potentially be responsible for mismanaging your Mothers estate. You have a right to her accounts, etc if she is imcompetent and an obligation as POA to report this legally. I would call a lawyer now! Good Luck to you.