brother depends on agency to care for mom. He believes they are doing ok job. my mother was on hospice x 1yr before removed. I am told hospice would not allow her out of bed due to reaction morphine & another tranquilizer i think. She became stiff. One year later she can no longer sit up by herself it hurts her to move she is fixed? in prone position. Brother not allowing me to put music on and exercise with her as in past.previously before became mr. power. PT came im told but a nurse said she saw no records. I dont know who is telling the truth about anything i cant get involvedi in her care(i am nurse, he thinks i will take over) by stipulation he enforced. Mom wants up even if bed moved to front room. She has alzheimers.but stresses wants" to get going". brother wont talk to me. Caregiver told sister no way she will get her up for few minutes only & putr her throuigh pain. They are not following her wishes, brother letting her waste away in bed its easier i guess for caregiving. What do i do? There will be alot more issues & problems if i seek legal help, but this is my mom and her quality of life sucks. They say she doesnt know the diffrence but as her daughter, was her caregiver and lived with her till 2yrs ago, i disagree and feel like i need to do something. any suggestions please....
If she is in your brother's home then he makes the choices because he is the one dealing with her care, not just as POA but as a caregiver. If you continually second guess and undermine his care choices then it is understandable why brother won't deal with you. As a nurse you must know that what a person with advanced Alzheimer's wants often has no basis in reality, just because she wants to "get going" doesn't mean her body has the ability to do so or that her mind has the ability to understand and remember that.
As her daughter you want your mom treated with respect and kindness and dignity. It must be very difficult to live far away and not be able to see up close what's going on. And who is saying that your mom doesn't know the difference? That's an awful position to take! We don't know what people with Alzheimer's know and don't know so we assume that they know somewhere in their mind how they're being treated and what is being said about them. It's the humane way to care for someone with Alzheimer's.
As for what you can do, you can go to where your mom is and eyeball the situation, see what's going on. How does your mom's skin look? Is she eating? Is she clean? Does she appear calm? Spend some time with her, meet her caregivers. Try to determine what kind of care she's getting overall.
Why was hospice discharged? Did your mom's condition suddenly improve? I would think a woman with Alzheimer's who's bed-bound would be a candidate for hospice.
But until you can see for yourself what's going on you can't really take any action.