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He gets dementia. He enduring POA over fathers health, does this require me to have to live permanently with him if he deteriorates from his present assisted living in his own home.
Absolutely not. The DPOA over his health (depending on how it is written) simply gives you power to make medical decisions and possibly "where he lives" decisions in the event that he is deemed "mentally incompetent to make decisions and manage his affairs". That means, in most cases, that he has to have a psych or mental health workup by a physician/psychiatrist/neurologist to determine extent of his mental capacity.
You do not have to live in his home no matter how bad he gets physically or mentally. You are not responsible to take him into your home, etc. -- Your responsibility would be to see that he is placed or that you secure safe healthy environment for him.
THere are many options and you should start looking into NOW while you have time to understand all your options, all the things/paperwork, etc you will need when the time comes; and dad's finances to see what he can afford and how it works and any financial assistance he may be entitles to (veteren benefits, etc.). You have a couple options: Placement into AL, Memory Care, residential care. Second option is to hire in-home care assistance. SOmeone who will come to the home a few hours a week and help dad with meal prep, bathing, light housework, grocery shopping, errands, etc. If he is deteriorating and has assistance in home now -- then you have to make choice to increase that care to 24/7 (expensive) or have dad placed in other residential care (less expensive; but will exhaust all his assets likely); or yes, if you want, live in your home and you hire care to come in as much as you need (conserves some of his assets possibly for longer period) but will be very stressful as he continues to deteriorate for you and your family.
I would read thru this site and do your homework on the ins and outs of such choices. Note that taking someone in your home as their health and mental needs require increasing time and skilled care can be a nightmare and serious burden on the whole family for years -- so prepare yourself and your family on taking on that huge responsibility. A few others have found it comforting and rewarding -- depends on your situation and your parental relationship.
I toally agree with Sunflo, my dad was age 97 and he lived alone except the last 3 mos...in home care come late, call in sick and then you need to be there. We figured in home would be $140K a yr for 24/7 care. AL was going to be $40K and we also hired PT "friends/caretakers" that would regularly take him out so he felt more independent...the PT caretakers actually could keep an eye on how he was doing too. THey came 3 x week for maybe 3-4 hrs per day. THey would go to the mall . bank, chick filet, and movies...plus (i work part time( I saw him 6 days a week to keep everything normal...My sister 1000+miles was Medical POA, my brother 5 hrs away was Financial POA. I got the best job, be his best friend....
You just put together a schedule that works for your family and then your dad.(it'll take alot of redesign till you find some plan,but it is worth it)...he is very missed and i don't regret any time with him..this all was over 5 yrs and it went fast.....if we could love on him one more time!
You just have to be available to make decisions when necessary. Even if he goes into AL a phone call will be all that they need to authorize treatment if and when needed.
My husband was in "respite" and I was out of the area. When treatment was needed they got hold of me and I authorized treatment. (they actually called my sister who I had also given authority to authorize treatment and she got hold of me ...all this.. for what I discovered later when I had computer access...Athletes Foot!!)
Of course not. Medical POA just means that person can act on your father's behalf for medical decisions. He can't force you to do anything. He can, however, overrule your wishes regarding your father's medical treatment.
If the POA is trying to bully you into moving your father into your home or having you move into your father's home, I would question his motives. Why would he want you to live with your father instead of your father moving into a memory care community?
how old are you? Is someone with "POA" pressuring you to move in with your demented Dad? Get caught up reading stuff here, or consult an elder law attorney. No one can 'make' anyone move anywhere.
You are joking, right? I don't know where you are located, but in the US slavery was abolished more than a century ago, and as far as I know it is not legal anywhere else, either.
I recently took out and enduring Power Of Attorney for my Dad who is showing signs of dementia. He broke his leg and is soon to come home with transitional care that lasts about 8-12weeks.
One of the social workers at the hospital told me I would have to come to his house every night to care for him because the transitional carers only come in for 1hr a day for physio etc. and to help him to live at home again. The hospital Drs have diagnosed him with sundowner syndrome but he has been showing symptoms of alziemers for quite a while now. They are keen to send him home and free up their beds. When the social worker said I had to stay with him at night because I was the enduring Power of Attorney. I got worried that legally the Enduring Power of Attorney could be legally used to force me to have to live with him. Although I care about him and have been helping him with groceries and appts etc for a long time since Mum died I know I could not live with him as my head often throbs after listening to him talk nonstop about the same stories over for hours. Thank you everyone who has answered and put my mind at rest about that because I couldnt sleep worrying about it. Although legal sites on Enduring Power Of Attorney here in Australia talk endlessly about the legalities and safeguards for people appointing Attorneys, they give very little advice to someone who holds the Enduring Power of Attorney in respect to their legal rights as well
I don't know how it works in Australia, but in the US they would not discharge someone who needed 24-hour care home without assurance of that care. Instead they would transfer the person to a Transitional Care Unit for the 8 - 12 weeks of recovery. They might try to bully a son or daughter or spouse or POA into providing the care at home, but they would have no legal authority to require it.
You are not the first poster from down under who has posted about being pressured to provide continuing hands on care, best to protect yourself by refusing to allow them to discharge him under those circumstances. If you allow that kind of set up for even a few weeks it will become a precedent and it will be harder to extricate yourself in the future without accusations of abandonment. While the law may be on your side it seems that in actual practice there are some who have found themselves trapped by their own good intentions and the bullying tactic of your healthcare system. Consult a lawyer. And come back and let us know what the lawyer says so we can know how to help others.
If the lawyer who did the original paperwork is also in Australia, he should be willing to clarify your options. legally just in a phone conference and that is what I would do first, since he would have notes from the meetings when setting up the original Power of Attorney.
By the way you've worded it, it seems like someone with POA wants you to move in with your dad. Someone else on this thread said the same thing. You don't need to do it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You do not have to live in his home no matter how bad he gets physically or mentally. You are not responsible to take him into your home, etc. -- Your responsibility would be to see that he is placed or that you secure safe healthy environment for him.
THere are many options and you should start looking into NOW while you have time to understand all your options, all the things/paperwork, etc you will need when the time comes; and dad's finances to see what he can afford and how it works and any financial assistance he may be entitles to (veteren benefits, etc.). You have a couple options: Placement into AL, Memory Care, residential care. Second option is to hire in-home care assistance. SOmeone who will come to the home a few hours a week and help dad with meal prep, bathing, light housework, grocery shopping, errands, etc.
If he is deteriorating and has assistance in home now -- then you have to make choice to increase that care to 24/7 (expensive) or have dad placed in other residential care (less expensive; but will exhaust all his assets likely); or yes, if you want, live in your home and you hire care to come in as much as you need (conserves some of his assets possibly for longer period) but will be very stressful as he continues to deteriorate for you and your family.
I would read thru this site and do your homework on the ins and outs of such choices. Note that taking someone in your home as their health and mental needs require increasing time and skilled care can be a nightmare and serious burden on the whole family for years -- so prepare yourself and your family on taking on that huge responsibility.
A few others have found it comforting and rewarding -- depends on your situation and your parental relationship.
I got the best job, be his best friend....
You just put together a schedule that works for your family and then your dad.(it'll take alot of redesign till you find some plan,but it is worth it)...he is very missed and i don't regret any time with him..this all was over 5 yrs and it went fast.....if we could love on him one more time!
Even if he goes into AL a phone call will be all that they need to authorize treatment if and when needed.
My husband was in "respite" and I was out of the area. When treatment was needed they got hold of me and I authorized treatment. (they actually called my sister who I had also given authority to authorize treatment and she got hold of me ...all this.. for what I discovered later when I had computer access...Athletes Foot!!)
If the POA is trying to bully you into moving your father into your home or having you move into your father's home, I would question his motives. Why would he want you to live with your father instead of your father moving into a memory care community?
my Dad who is showing signs of dementia.
He broke his leg and is soon to come home with transitional care that lasts
about 8-12weeks.
One of the social workers at the hospital told me I would have to come to his
house every night to care for him because the transitional carers only come in
for 1hr a day for physio etc. and to help him to live at home again.
The hospital Drs have diagnosed him with sundowner syndrome but he
has been showing symptoms of alziemers for quite a while now.
They are keen to send him home and free up their beds.
When the social worker said I had to stay with him at night because I was the enduring Power of Attorney.
I got worried that legally the Enduring Power of Attorney could be legally used to force me to have to live with him.
Although I care about him and have been helping him with groceries and appts etc for a long time since Mum died I know I could not live with him as my head
often throbs after listening to him talk nonstop about the same stories over for hours.
Thank you everyone who has answered and put my mind at rest about that because I couldnt sleep worrying about it.
Although legal sites on Enduring Power Of Attorney here in Australia talk endlessly about the legalities and safeguards for people appointing Attorneys, they give very little advice to someone who holds the Enduring Power of Attorney
in respect to their legal rights as well
Consult a lawyer. And come back and let us know what the lawyer says so we can know how to help others.