I am the Executor of my Mother's estate (she passed away last year) and my sister is the POA for my Father who has dementia. My parents' house and car are in both my Father's and Mother's names. Who is in charge/can decide what happens to the car and house? Me, the executor of my Mother's estate or my sister, my Father's Power of Attorney?
It is the Power of Attorney for your Dad who is in charge of the house and car. Sounds like everything was in joint name for your parents, so that made it very simple, like no Probate was needed [depends on your State]. Your Mom's estate went directly to your Dad, thus your job as Executor should be done.
And the assets of mom’s estate are freestanding AND some are also commingled with dad as to ownership, right?
Perhaps assets being bled? My answers are based on this being the concern.....
If your named as the executor in mom’s will, then you can open probate.
Neither dad or Sissy can stop this. But if you do, I’d highly suggest that you get a probate atty who does litigation. Most probate guys do NOT do litigation at all, never ever. So you need to clearly ask. If mom’s will was done by a different attorney than dads was, I’d suggest you contact that firm to see who they suggest for probate (with litigation) atty. I’ve been executor 3 times, regular probate guy maybe $2500-4000 but litigation probate may need a upfront retainer $5k -$7500. It’s speciality work.
You might want to roughly do a quick determination as to what mom’s assets could have been as of her DOD. Day of Death. If it’s significant and you get the vibe that Sissy or Dad is depleting mom’s assets & fast, you need to move to get probate opened quickly and have mom’s assets frozen. And the atty will get a forensic done to determine DOD assets. Your litigation guy will know exactly how to do this & how to recover assets removed. Oh also the $ for the retainer, you as executor will be repaid by moms Estate (assuming there’s $) and you won’t have to wait for the final distribution to do this. Good luck!