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My mother lived with me and my husband last year. During that time I got POA for her and we put her assets into a trust with me as trustee.

My sister convinced mother that I had stolen her money and took her to live with her ... about 2 hours away. She cut off communication- me and other members of the family- and isolated my mother. Apparently she also told mother that my brother was dead and wouldn't let him talk to her either.

Sister shopped for a lawyer who would take her word for everything and not do any investigation (one lawyer did investigate and would not file a lawsuit)... and last April I got papers saying I was being sued. Not just me, but the bank where the trust account was held, the broker and brokerage house, and the lawyer and law firm where the trust was written. All being sued.. out of the blue.. for a half a million dollars each. Believe me, on my best day I am worth no where near a tenth of that!

I didn't know it at the time, but Sister had told mothers doctors that she was allergic to her aricept and namenda and had her taken off those medications. Mother had deteriorated to the point where she could no longer dial a phone (I felt really bad when I discovered this cause I had thought all along that if she wanted to talk to me she could call).. she couldn't make coffee.. nor could she work the remote on her television.

Sister moved mother to a senior apartment (not quite assisted living.. not much assistance) where mother continued to deteriorate. She couldn't order from a menu and lost weight- I'm guessing down to about 90 pounds.

When I called sisters house to tell her our new phone number sister told me mother had moved to assisted living and didn't want to hear from me.
I found mother and went to visit that first weekend. She was pitiful. Had trouble speaking... couldn't get her words out. She was delighted to see me and even happier to hear that my brother was not dead as my sister had told her!

After two weeks of visiting her I asked if she wanted to come back home with us.. she did. We moved her back in with us.
The week we moved her my sister used her POA to empty out her bank accounts and sell her car. She also has some valuable personal property that mother wants returned.

Knowing my sister, the money is gone and the valuables sold. I doubt there is anything left to get back... maybe a little satisfaction. This took place in another county two hours away. We would have to file criminal charges there and go to court there. I'd have to miss work to take care of it. We are talking about $20,000 or so in cash and about $15,000 or so in personal property.

Mother and I went to the lawyer who had drawn up the POA I had from last year today and had a new one drawn up. Mother revoked sisters POA a month ago. The lawyer told mother that sister had made several inquiries into the POA mother had given me, questioning mothers competency to do so and asking whether mothers signature was notarized or could it have been forged~!
Sheesh!

Mother also drew up a new will today. She wants to cut sister completely out of any inheritance. I think what she ended up doing was writing it up that sister inherits the things that she stole and the money she stole and nothing else. I was out of the room when they did the will. The lawyers wanted to make sure I was not influencing her. Unlike the lawyer that filed the suit against me, by the way. Mother says that sister always talked to that lawyer and the lawyer didn't listen to her at all. In fact, the POA that lawyer wrote for sister gave her the authority to testify in court for mother, without mother even taking part!

I called elder abuse hotline, but they have done nothing so far. The county attorney isn't interested in prosecuting because sister had poa when she took the stuff and transferred mothers money out of her accounts and sold her highlander for an unknown amount of cash (or maybe traded it for a new car- the dealership where we found the highlander wouldn't tell us if it was a trade-in)...

So.. how do I proceed. My desire is to be done with lawyers for a while and hopefully never speak to sister again. If we find a way to prosecute her I will have to deal with lawyers and probably be in the same room with her again.. and it will continue to cause mother grief.

From my perspective, dear sister cut off communication with family, isolating mother. Took her off her medications and caused her to mentally deteriorate, then put her in a position where she could not function (a senior apartment where she was expected to care for herself and order food from a menu) which caused her continued physical decline. She got POA, filed suit to get hold of the money in the trust. The lawyer conspired to help her do this by giving her a POA that included being able to testify and give a deposition.

I would love to go after the lawyer, but I hate legal stuff.. court. etc.

Any suggestions

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Sorry for the typos!!!!!! old eyes and big thumbs!
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My control freak sister has both medical amd financial POA of our mother. There are five of us children. She is also the Executor of the Will. I have been licensed in the health field for 20 years and ahe know nothing about medicine. she has had my mother on off label medication that is designed for neuropathic pain from diabetes (she doesnt have that) and given for tremors that cause falls as a side effect and has fallen numerous times . Sister has convinced mom that anything she says is gospel and anyone else is not to be trusted. She has extorted permission from mom to ban my brother from setting foot in the house or as she told my mom, "You will not see me again and who would take care of you?" So now, sister actively limits time I can spend with my own mother and denied me seeing her, instead saying she was increasing the time and frequency she is putting in a senior care center (that looks like a homeless shelter). I told her she was overstepping her authority and abusing mom by keeping her away from loved ones under threat of abandonment. sister convinced mom i was "harassing" sis and now wprking to cut me.out of the will by feeding mom a bunch of lies and letting her see texts out of context with me arguing to save mom.(Mom is deteriorating as they won't let her sleep when she wants and makes her stay up (shes 89) . The way mom sees it is if sister is upset, she will crucify anyone to please sister, presumbably oit of fear that sister will abandon her and convinced that she is the only one qualified to help.
Long srory short.....Sister limits her ability to see other children, has questionable financial dealing regarding moms financial accounts , extorts what she wants under threat of abandonment and has made herself untouchable
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My brothers is half owner of dad property. My Dad sign me to be power of attorney
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My sisters 2 convincingly talked mom out of her properties and money telling her I could make my own way . Mom left them over 800 thousand and more and left me 1 thousand so I could not contest. Now their doing it to my dad . They have always hated me as I was always working . They never held jobs . Any jobs . Now I’m psysically sick and can’t work .I have no car and my savings are not great . So I’m afraid might end up homeless at 73 . They have ruined my life with jealousy and greed . My mother must have hated me also . Don’t think I will recover from this hurt .
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Happened to me. My siblings forged and stole and manipulated everything from my grandpa, dad and mon. They took 200k one time. I went to everyone. Lawyers, state, county, elder agencies , more lawyers. Boils down to if they do not admit it and the lawyer cant make any money they are screwed. My dad had $1M dollar inheritance in land and cash. Now he is on medicaid in Long term care. It hurt him so much he never came out of it. Another bottom line as you figure out nothing can be done and you do not want yours or your parent short time left to be all about thid is that evil exists in people and it is greed. state of wi. is as we speak working on over 800 cases of this crap.
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Current issue. My father is 69 and a drunk with many medical issues living now in The Villiages, Florida. He has lots of money from his company. He after 35 years divorced my mother remarried him. She also had money from a business. Well in May my mother with Lymphoma B-Cell Cancer was going to chemo. I had to take her to doctor in Ohio because my father was always drunk and driving. I am ok to drive but disabled from a Stroke during brain surgery. Well here is the story. I have a sister and her and her husband have money not all legal. They filled my father with booze and told him to leave my mother. Which he did in May. And they took all the money. They did a POA naming my sister, her husband and my daughter who they said in the POA is his nieces which is wrong. We have proof they have the money and they are depleting the money. They moved him from Ohio to the Villiages where he drinks till he passes out sometimes in the driveway. Current I am not speak with my children too because they are in on this. They have new cars, new houses and lots of money. Waiting on the judge in Ohio to make a discussion on the divorce. They have broke into my mothers home stold jewelry. We have proof of my daughter alone spending over $20,000.00 of my parents money. We have depositions and documented proof. But NO one will help. My father is going to kill someone drinking and driving in The Villiages or between there in Ohio. NO state will help. I don't give a crap about money for me I want them all stopped. We have even been told the brother-in-law will try to have us killed. We know he burned down a barn for the insurance money. There is NO HELP in this country. I just want them out of my parents life and my parents to live happy and get the medical attention that they need. I am poor but rich in life with my wonderful husband I met in 2012 after my brain surgery. I have no money to fight this. What can be done? After the divorce is final I want to go after them all make them answer for what they are doing to these to people. My father hates me and wishes I was dead as do my own children. All for money the root of all evil. My father needs help before he kills someone and dies alone. They are all in Ohio he is in Florida alone. Sorry for my writing as I said I have damage from stroke and brain surgery for a brain aneurysms
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how do i stop my sister who obtained power of attorney from my dieng mother to sell her house
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I have had power of attorney for my mother for many years and I have been her primary caretaker,taking care of medical needs,bill paying, closing of property she sold,running errands and many other things. Mom's checking account had me as a joint holder. My brother gave my mom checks for money that he owed to her. I deposited the checks into the checking account signin her name with my poa. The money then went to pay her state and federal taxes the day after the deposit was made. Mom gave the checks to me to deposit. Unfortunately my mom passed away a few days later. My brother has filed criminal forgery charges against me. The estate attorney has told me not to worry, hard not to.
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In most states caregivers are mandated reporters. This means even if financial abuse is suspected it must be reported to Adult Protective Service. They will work with police, CPAs the DA etc to investigate fraud or theft. Going through this mess right now with THREE people my brother in law has POA over. Hoping you get the help you need soon.
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My husband had 3 siblings all older. The 2 brothers died, which left his "sister". She made no qualms about her dislike for her mother and never visited or did anything for her mother. She wouldn't even so much as call her. My husband took over handling my mother in laws bank accounts about 5 years ago at my mother in laws request. My mother in law also change her will to name my husband as her executor because the executor had passed away. There was no POA in place. My husband and mother in law opened a joint bank account. About 4 years ago I lost my job and we were in danger of foreclosure. My husband went to his mother and asked to borrow money to help prevent this. She told him to take what he needed, it was between them, but in the event of her death, make sure that the "sisters" share did not suffer. My husband agreed to this. In January of this year, my husband was suddently taken ill and was in ICU. The day after my husband was admitted My "sister in law" took my mother in law who has suffered from dementia for about 1 year to the bank and opened another account with her name on it. She changed the SS to go into that account (she did not have POS or anything). She also took my mother in law's timeshare and sold it to herself as well as her car. (She subsequently gave the car to her daughter but was still driving on my mother's in law's insurance and handicapped tags and now has wrecked the car). My mother in law has now been diagnosed with terminal cancer as well as advanced dementia. My husband got a call from a detective today. His "sister" is having him investigated for "stealing" his mother's money. Great sister, huh?
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Wow. I can relate to you on another level. While all of this was going on with my sibling, I also had a child in rehab. It was almost more than a person can take. My siblings (now keep in mind, my siblings are between 13 and 19 yrs my elder) have also brought up the issues with my child. Unbelievable. After a lot of other crap I just don't want to rehash, I have finally decided to have best wishes for all of them without being in their lives AT ALL. The negativity has been overwhelming at times and I will not allow them to do that to me anymore. As the youngest, I definitely feel such disappointment from siblings who should have been my beacons instead of my anchor. I hope you can also find happiness without Dear Sister. You will never move forward with her dragging you down. Just do what you need to for your mom now that she is in a senior living apartment, maybe you will find it easier to keep distance.
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After my husband's heart surgery we sold our house and moved to my mom's cabin to get our bearings. He retired on disability and I went to work. My sister was such a PITA over us living in my mother's little vacation cabin (even though we did all the upkeep and paid all the bills) that we ended up buying a house in town and moving. I mailed the keys to my mother at my sisters house. Sister intercepted the mail- she had already sent my mother to a senior apartment-... and she took the keys and went to the cabin and took all the furniture my dad made, plus a set of antique books out of the cabin. She put the stolen furniture in storage and had it billed to my mothers credit card! Talk about ballsy..
Mother said Dear Sis took even her diamond ring off her finger and refused to give it back... she even had it resized!
Sister was always a big bully. Nobody's opinion mattered but her own. I never figured her to be a thief, though. Turns out she has done exactly what she accused me of doing.
Makes me wonder. When we were moving my mothers furniture out of the senior apartment, Dear Sister watched from her car and took pictures. When she finally came within speaking distance she said "the judge will just LOVE these pictures!".. and then accused me of being on drugs and needing my mother's money. She said "you'll never see a dime of her money"... At the time I didn't know what she ment. Now I know it ment she would steal everything she could.
I think since I've lost 55 pounds in the last year (stress will do that to you!) she thinks I must be on drugs. Doesn't help that my son was arrested for drugs a couple of years ago and recently went to jail on a probation violation- xanax in his system. Sister has held that over my head... and acting like it was somehow my fault that he is an addict. He's 24. I don't control his actions anymore.
With my job I am responsible for ... well, alot of money. I'm over 4 convenience stores and in charge of all the inventory, the money, theft control.. etc. If my employer were to have any inkling that I was a thief--or on drugs -- I wouldn't keep my job for long. Fortunately my employer is aware of my sister..and the lawsuit.
Otherwise it could be alot worse.
Oh, and my sister also bought two recording devices from Radioshack and charged them to my mothers credit card. She put one recording device on mothers' phone at the senior apartment and recorded all her incoming calls. I am guessing the other went on her own home phone? No idea.
My sister is nuts.
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My sibling had DPOA when credit card theft was done. Did your sister at least make the payments? My sibling had my mom sign for bankruptcy when they could no longer make the payments on the over 50k in revolving credit. It is a hurt and betrayal I will never get over I don't think. If my sibling would sit down and discuss this and offer humble, humble apologies it may ease the burden. But, for me, my sibling will not address the elephant in the room at all. I will never regret doing the right thing, and it's not just "my" right thing, it was "the" right thing. I know you won't regret it either.
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Thanks for all the replies! I finally spoke a lady in a new lawyers office today. She was incredulous at just what had been done to my mother...both by my sister and by her own lawyer.

Sister had POA, so she will be difficult to prosecute for theft. However, she still should give a financial accounting of where all the money went. We can demand an accounting in court, if need be.

I am shocked that a POA would give the right to give testimony in court. More and more it seems like a conspiracy to me.

Anyway, I may just end up convincing this attorney to take her case and sue my sister for all the stuff she stole, and the money from her highlander.

we will see. Small progress here, though.
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You know even if you have D.P.O.A you can only be a overseerer thats it..and the bottom line of that , you will half to make a list of what you spent .here in ks you do cause thats what my brother did , see he thought he woild free access to dads account when they took me off but it wasnt like that and he was NOT happy. i was sitting right there because since all this is a probate you do not get to draw out like a regualr account...its not that easy once ur a D.P.O.A my brother thought he will be able to do alot and he couldnt
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from 2003 - 2005 I'd like to know who the attorney general for the state of Florida was. They don't have a damn clue what the hell is happeneing to the seniors! A year and a half after my mom passed I was hauled to court to tell the court why I didn't pay a $14,000 medical bill. Mean while my creep elder abusing x-sister conned mom into so much crap including finding a crook lawyer like herself to defraud the state by only submitting half of moms assets. She goes and buys up tons of real estate with moms money and the state of Florida allowed this????And I'm hauled to court! UNBELIEVABLE - I know what's happening here! The lawyers are making friends (contacts) with agents on the qualifying side of Medicaid and they're giving them kickbacks to let their fraudulent paperwork go through. It has to be otherwise how else would my mom have qualified for free state assistance having $400,000?????? Something is very rotten and stinkin in Florida! PISSED OFF FOREVER TILL I GET JUSTICE FOR MY MOM! PS I WILL GET JUSTICE FOR MY MOM. I"M ON A MISSION FOLKS AND IT'S TO UNDERCOVER THIS CRAP GOING ON!!
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What kind of lawyer would give a POA the right to testify for someone else. That seems very strange. If lies were told who would be the purgerer. ? sounds shady. Greed is a bad thing.
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Wow you can't even trust your own relitives any more now at days who can you trust???? i had a simular situatin with my mom and her lovely grandson who stold money from her and sold things hse own including her house i lost my inheritance over this spoil bratt. after mom died a year half ago .Haven;t heard nothing from my nephew after mom died. roo ashamed to contact me and my siter . i took mom out of bad situation where neclect and abuse happened to her. i can relate to what you going through. take care of yourself your in my prayers
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Oh and I forgot to sat POA means nothing !!! do you know that if they die that POA can not accsess bank account unless you take the will to the bank .So if you have POA make sure your name is on bank statement or it is a joint account .
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First of all there is a diffrence between the following : Medical Power of Attorney ,Durabile Power of Attorney ,Power of Attorney if she had POA? IS THERE A ATTACHMENT WITH PROVISIONS . giving her permission for finiancial buisness ,realestate ect check into it . Get a copy of it and review it !! The bank has insurance and can reinburst but only for loss up to 30 to 60 days .
Get it now or it will be lost and make them responsible for releasing your mom's funds. You don;t need a attorney !!! you need evedience and witnesses. You can fill out a civil suite against her yourself. You do not need a attorney to set up a POA . Goggle it and print it from the state you live in have your mom sign and get it notierized with witness to make official. And Last CALL DEPT OF AGING FILE COMPLAINT ON EXPLOTATION OF ELDERLY . I am sorry this has happened to you MY SISTER DID THE SAME THING !!!! AND MUCH WORSE not only did she isolate her but had all these credit cards out in my mom's name and even bought her self a truck and furniture in mom's name . Good luck ! write your sister off like I did and go with a civil lawsuit .Most likely she wont show up to court ,this will place atomatic judgement againt her and then have it docated with the court all cost about $100 and place a lien against her . Do it now there is A 2 YEAR LIMITATION OF TIME . HOPE THIS HELPS
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I've been in that situation before with my husband's mother and his ex wife. The only thing you can do is call the police and if you have enough proof, they might take it on as a case. You have to be willing to put them in jail, if it comes to that.
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I had put my POA in affect with my mother and when I did that I took my sister and brother off my mothers savings account which at the time had 92,000.00 and the reason for me taking them off was because they could walk right into her bank and withdraw money from it without her being there, and I would be held responsible, when my sister and brother found out that I did this they came down while I was at work, I worked 3 hours a day taking care of another lady, they knew the hours I worked, needless to say they came and got her, went and got emergancey guardianship of her, froze her bank accounts, which she had bills to pay, which couldnt be paid cause of the bank accounts being froze, we had to go to court within 2 weeks and of course I got an attorney to fight to get her back,, (wishing that I hadnt done that now,, which thats a long story) but with in a week my sister was ready for my mom to come back, but she couldnt, she had to wait till the court date to bring her back, I then found out that being POA means nothing what you need to do is get guardianship that trumps everything, I am sorry that you had to go threw what you did, some ppl are just greedy, and uncaring, My sister to had done some under handed stuff, before my mom got sick, she had my mom go down and put my sister on the deed to her house so when my mom passes my sister got the whole house...
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My evil x-sister conned mom into signing two sizeable checks. One for $25,000 and one for $60,000 plus to buy her self real estate. Even more money afterwards like $100,000. Then she visits a crooked lawyer who does not request moms bank statements on purpose. What she doesn't see she doesn't report. THE LAME STATE OF FLORIDA ALLOWED MY MOTHER TO QUALIFY FOR MEDICAID HAVING AN ALMOST $400,000 ESTATE -DOES THAT SEEM LIKE SOMEONE WHO SHOULD BE DEEMED INDIGENT????? LOT OF SHADY CRAP GOING ON WITH SOME OF THESE LAWYERS?? in my opinion that is. I'M FED UP- HOW ABOUT YOU - ELDERLY ARE BEING DEPRIVED OF THE QUALITY OF CARE THEY SO DESERVE SO THE DAMM SOCIOPATHS AND NARCISSISTS OF THE FAMILY CAN BUY UP OVER A MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF PROPERTIES - AM I WRITING A BOOK -YOU BETCHA - AM I NAMING NAMES -COUNT ON IT!!!! OUTRAGED IN ORLANDO! Sorry you're going through this! It sucks my mom was forced in the worse nursing home imaginable - like out of a real life horror movie - The POA was allowed to be as abusive as she wanted to be - nothing she did raised a red flag. It's called the Parks nursing home and don't put anyone in there please!!!!! I gave a fourteen page letter to the head to look out for my mom you think they listened?? Then they wonder why people go ape shit and go ballistic. We are talking about the 'Elderly' being grossly abused! I don't even recognize my biological x-sister. She turned into a zombie- no heart whatsoever! So I guess in Florida you're allowed to go on a shopping spree and buy up real estate to spend down money right before you contact the Medicaid agency and you'll be on the honor system as they obviously don't go back and check!! Rip off the seniors -yep that's what is happening in Florida! PISSED OFF!
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i can understand that!
were u 2 close before?
were there any red flags in your past relationship that may have showed signs of her acting so abusive and selfish-
that u can see now?
or doesnt it make a difference-whats done is done and who cares why?
i hope i am not being out of line-
k
k
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my nephew was my mom poa for about 4 yrs after ny brother died and i went through same situation he stlod her money and things i own things my mom own aduly protective services was invloved but my nephew got away with this he sold my moms house my sister or me didnt get nothing i tokk my mom outof this situation he abused my mom neglected her all about money this was thats he wanted, Adukt protective services didnt prosecute my nephew my mother was in denial she didnt want to do nothing I took over i moived my mom with me i lost her 2 yrs ago she was 92 yrs old i had her about a2 yrs. I don't feel alone aboutthis i wish mymom would have gone after my nephew he took my inheritance money mom left my sister some money for her and me both i lost the house i grew up in that still breaks myheart
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I am so sorry for the problems that your sister is causing for you and your mother. Unfortunately it is something that is always happening to someone somewhere. The old saying that "Blood is thicker than water" may or may not be true but I have come up with a saying of my own, "Money is thicker than blood," which I sadly believe is often times very true. A very good friend of mine, a lady in her fifties, has not seen her sons or her grandchildren in three years. Her former husband and father of these adult children, is jealous of his former wife's wonderful husband. Her "ex" is well to do money-wise and real estate wise but bankrupt emotionally. The kids were given an ultimatum of choosing him or their mother. Choosing him would pad their pockets so their choice was an easy one. Sadly, stories like this are all too common and probably always will be. Another woman I know did what your sister did to you. She became POA for both of her parents and took all of their money and put it into a safe deposit box. She then sold all of their valuables and hid that money away as well. She told her out of state sisters that their parents had nothing. Unfortunately people that do these things have no remorse for what they have done or continue to do. I wish you and your mother the best of luck.
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My situation wasn't as in depth as yours, but long story short....found out about misdoings with one of my siblings and it has been the end of our relationships as we once knew them.
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what an insult to the intellegence of caretakers- it shows a lack of
awareness, respect and compassion..
as we all get older, and we switch roles with our parents,so many old fears and issues never resolved from childhood seem to rise up and distort our way of thinking.
i have been thru -still fighting for-something simlar but not as severe as what u r going thru-
i still havent found the answers,but i do know that i still am learning to let go of some of the hurt and rage that is caused by such frightened and selfish family memebers/
which is easier said than done-
but we have to pick our battles,some things are beyond our control-will not be changed-in the long run,some issues arent worth it because it beomes more of a fight to be right,rather than taking are of the problem at hand.-and all this has a direct effect on us- on our health-mental and physical-
there seems to be much $ involved, but if it will
rob u of your health and energy,mental and physical, you wont win, even if u do-
i send u patience and positive energy,
u will get thru this, listen to your inner self, your intuition, whatever u decide to do,will be the right because u will be coming from a true and loving place- your heart-
i send u millions of hugs---------
and love-
k
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WOW!!!! this sound so familiar but i must say i didnt steal my fathers money i took care of him but legally i was at fault only could show a few reciepts of taking care of mmy father., so my family dd sue me but they didnt get anything because i refuse to pay to a famly that DIDNT do anything but had their hands out.i understand your issue but all it boils down to is, you half to get a lawyer to fight for mother finances and so forth do not let ur sister get away with it,, drag her in the court make her pay back...you have good reasons. as for my family they didnt have good enough reason i won and the judge believe me.. and if could do it all over again......i would
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Your local Area on Aging will do an investigation at no cost to you. They will go to your sister and make her account for every dime she spent while she was POA. Even if you choose not to press charges which I don't think families should press charges against family, the Protective Services people will investigate and you will feel better knowing where the money went. Best thing to do is put sister the hell out of your life and take care of your mom first and foremost. Protective services helped me get dad's money back to him but my relationship with my family is destroyed but that's the way it has to be. Good Luck!
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