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I moved in with the lady I take care of, its near the end. Her poa is her oldest son and he has been causing her problems since she started declining now he says he wants me and his brother out as soon as she is gone. no time to find a place to go
I think the family other than your BF just really doesn't want you involved with caring for their mother or being around or in the house. Whether it's fair or not, that's the reality. And they are the family even if they aren't doing a good job of caring for the woman; you're not family, regardless of how you may feel and how much you may have cared for this woman.
I think it's past the time of trying to appease or bargain with them about staying. Your other post suggested there's a lot of friction in this household, in which a woman is apparently dying.
For the feelings you have for her, and the care you must feel, I would make an effort to find someplace else just so that she can die in peace without her family squabbling with you. You will have to move on eventually as I'm sure you realize. Perhaps you and the son you're friendly with can find a place together.
Is the POA also the executor of the will? It may be that he will need to get the house ready for sale in accordance with the will. Do you think that he might allow you to keep a bed and some other things to help furnish an apartment? That would help a bit to pay toward the help that you provided his mother. I hope that you are able to find a place for yourself. One of the troubles with being a caregiver is that many times when we get to the end there is no one there to help to take care of us. I hope that you are able to locate something to tide you over.
This has all came from jealousy and greed. the girls are jealous because when she needs something she depends on me the poa is more concerned that she might change her will. An example of the messages was you guys wont be here long Mike is taking over soon. he wants Ronnie and Andre here for backup.Kevin has offered his services. I had the police come out but they said they have to say they are going to harm at least one of us.She does not trust either one of the girls to walk her but will hug me and lay her sweet little head on my shoulder and be very comfortable. She says she can't do this without me.. Even though they have been jerks she and I had a talk I told her I would give my soul to hear my dads voice so she recorded somethings on my laptop for each child I bought the dvds and made all of theirs. I also got pics from her youngest sons phone made them a slideshow with music. I just wish they would have gotten to know the person I am instead of who they made themselves believe I am.
There is one thing for sure I am not leaving her with a bunch of disrespectful idiots. this is the letter I put at the end of their video.
I'm really sorry you didn't realize that I was trying to give you with your mom what I never had with my dad. I wanted you to be able to remember the good times over the times when she became so sick or the times soon to come. The night the band was here was meant for you guys to be able to enjoy at least one night with her without thinking of how sick she was. Instead of that being a priority for you ,you let your insecurities rob you of a memory that would have been here for a lifetime.when Rick carried her to bed that night she had a smile on her face and a song in her heart. I know without a shadow of a doubt your mom enjoyed herself, after all thats what should have mattered in the first place. I wish you would have got to know the person I am instead of who you made yourselves believe I was. Sincerely
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
(https://www.agingcare.com/questions/boyfriends-siblings-causing-problems-upsetting-mom-186967.htm),
I think the family other than your BF just really doesn't want you involved with caring for their mother or being around or in the house. Whether it's fair or not, that's the reality. And they are the family even if they aren't doing a good job of caring for the woman; you're not family, regardless of how you may feel and how much you may have cared for this woman.
I think it's past the time of trying to appease or bargain with them about staying. Your other post suggested there's a lot of friction in this household, in which a woman is apparently dying.
For the feelings you have for her, and the care you must feel, I would make an effort to find someplace else just so that she can die in peace without her family squabbling with you. You will have to move on eventually as I'm sure you realize. Perhaps you and the son you're friendly with can find a place together.
You'd think he'd give you ninety days. Sounds like a jerk.
I'm really sorry you didn't realize that I was trying to give you with your mom what I never had with my dad.
I wanted you to be able to remember the good times over the times when she became so sick or the times soon to come.
The night the band was here was meant for you guys to be able to enjoy at least one night with her without thinking of how sick she was. Instead of that being a priority for you ,you let your insecurities rob you of a memory that would have been here for a lifetime.when Rick carried her to bed that night she had a smile on her face and a song in her heart. I know without a shadow of a doubt your mom enjoyed herself, after all thats what should have mattered in the first place.
I wish you would have got to know the person I am instead of who you made yourselves believe I was.
Sincerely