She will not let me see him in the care home. Has told staff i have never been around. I had a bone marrow transplant and spent the last year in the hospital. Wife called several times to let social worker know what was going on. Now they act like we never called. His partner has informed us that we can no longer take him any where. She stated that she needs his money in order to make it. She will not turn over power of attorney until she sells the house ( that he paid for with cash , he words) then she will. She has always been so worried about his money. saying we are just out to bleed him dry. All I want to do is see my dad and do things with him that i have not been able to do.
I don't understand your statement about her not turning over POA, if she has POA she can't just hand it off to someone else (unless you are named as secondary and she formally resigns), if she does not but you do then she has no say in the matter.
What is your father's impairment? For example, mobility issues, dementia, breathing issues, etc. Is he able to make decisions for himself? It may or may not be feasible for you to take dad out of the facility. Why not just visit on site at first, and see how that goes?