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My mom has parkinsons, diabetes, cad, and bipolar disorder. She had been declining and had a bought of bad depression in December. Than once home went back to the hospital for pneumonia. Home again and became very confused. Hospital again and diagnosed with TIA. Spent a month in sub acute and came home from that 2 weeks ago. Since than she has been back to the hospital twice, once with UTI than again with UTI and cdiff. She is now back in sub-acute and still weak and confused. She is also agitated and depressed. I'm truly worried she wont' come back from all this.

We'd like to get a POA for when she is completely incapacitated. She has already been struggling with taking care of her medical issues as well as finances. At this point I've been taking care of all her personal finances as well as medical because of her mental decline. She is widowed 23 yrs and I am her only child. No other living relatives except my cousins who aren't very close to us. I am her sole care provider and have always been. I just don't want to not be able to make decisions for her best interest. My mother and I are extremely close and it would break my heart if I couldn't be apart of her care anymore.

She has no savings nor does she have a home. We have always rented. She gets a pension and SS which is above the guidelines for most assistance programs. I'm told there is a way around this if she were to need to be placed in a nursing home. Is this true? I have so much to think about and do and I'm feeling so very overwhelmed right now. Not to mention the emotional tole it's taking on me to see my mother this way when just last week she was the best she's been in 3 months. I worry she won't come back from this latest set back.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I've failed her because we didn't do a POA before. Just didn't think that at 69 yrs old she'd have so many set backs.

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Hi Meghart, here are some quick thoughts. With true dementia, it would be difficult to get a POA. Having said that, if you are able (on a good day) to bring your Mom to the bank where her accounts are, you may be able to get added to her accounts so that you can pay her bills for her.

As to the health care proxy, many hospitals have simple forms they will accept. On her next visit to the hospital, ask the social worker about that and perhaps you can have your Mom sign the papers they provide.
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Thank you. She is currently in sub-acute rehab so I cannot get her to the lawyer or bank. I'm hoping and praying she becomes well enough to come home and we can take care of these issues. She has not been diagnosed w/ dementia or alzhiemers at this stage either.
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I'm sure the hospital social worker can help you. I'm a POA and it's not really a big deal...not like guardianship. You can speak for her but she can override you with a POA. Guardianship...you have to sign everything...it's like they are children. You can override them. They really have to be unable to take care of things for you to do this. I wouldn't want to be in that position.
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