Can a POA withhold information or documents from a caregiver?

Okay so this is odd, your sister is POA and does not know your father is living with you and has no contact with him? Can you get a copy of the POA, maybe there is not a POA. Can you get legal aid? So what does she think you want with his birth certificate. Where is his home, apt, papers, furniture, belongings? Has he been deemed incompetent by a medical doctor? I would start with getting this POA paperwork, get a lawyer to get it from her and go from there.

You could go and get POA paperwork to take over as POA if he is competent to sign or get legal aid to taken over as guardian also.We ram into those situations with my husbands aunt & that's what we have done.

Did I just read that right? Your dad is living with you, and your sister has POA, and she doesn't come to see him and will not turn over needed documents for him to get things he needs? Really? Is that right?

Hhhoooo boy, this story hits home. Except no POA's were involved in my situation until later on when I got it. ...and I like you, was doing whatever it took to keep the peace. My mother lived with me for almost three. Sis wanted Mom in a nursing home. Sis controlled Moms money. Sis did this, did that and Sis was an excruciating thorn in my side that finally had to be stood up to! And when I did, I got belted in the jaw! But guess what, Mom is still living with me, and Sis is out of the picture. Looong story and I already posted all that back in the day as a means to vent and get support. This forum does wonders for that.
Does your sister control his money too? Does she deny him anything else? If so, like anything he wants and needs, make a list. Make dates as to when he needed or wanted it, and let someone from Elder Affairs know about this. You and Dad need an advocate to speak up for you. Do you pay for his things, like food, clothes, personal stuff out of pocket right now?

POA, and DPOA are not rights to control, but extensions of the subjects mind! If your dad wants a damn ice cream cone, your sisters job is to get it. POA means that whatever the subject wants done in his or her name, it be done. Bills, banking, shopping, and that includes necessities as well as fun things. I try to get inside Mom head, the way she'd think, if the circumstances were reversed, and at one time they were...when I was a baby. So now is my turn.

POA's can be changed. Does dad know and is aware what is happening? Chances are if he does, he's caught in the middle of two squabbling children . It pains the parent tremendously when crap like this goes on.

I have lots more to say on this subject, but I will some it up: If what you are saying is absolute fact, and you are truly dealing with a power-control sister, then it's time to use the law and get an elder advocate on your dad's behalf.

One more thing: It appears she doesn't want you to have control of the money, or have DPOA because she is watching the bank account get higher and higher as time goes on. She doesn't want YOU to benefit by monies she feels SHE is entitled to. Tell me if I am wrong. If you had POA or DPOA, then you can actually pay yourself to take care of dad. Right? Lord knows she can't let THAT happen,.... now tell me if I am off a bit here and I will stand corrected.

She threatened to put Dad in a nursing home, right? So did MY sis, and she did. And guess what, I got her out when sis called crying that she couldn't take running back and forth to the nursing home several times a a week! So I got mom out, brought her home, grabbed control of the 'wheel' on this ship and now I have complete control of everything. And I even pay myself 1/10 of what the nursing home was charging. And guess what else? Mom NEVER does without a thing. Mom is healthy as a horse, happy, lovable, and content, and says she never wants to go back to NH again!

Yep, we share money around here. It keeps things stable, healthy, content and secure. Isn't that the right thing to do? Provide an environment where peace exists? Most folks can only dream of such things, but that is what happens when things get SHARED and everyone is contributing, even mom or dad.
I do my job and make sure Mom has the best of everything we can while she is alive. I spend her money on her room, her clothes, her favorite foods, vitamins and minerals and fun things she likes. The other alternative is to put her in a nursing home and let Medicaid pay her bill and the NH keep all but thirty five dollars of her SS check every month. Which do you think is the RIGHT thing to do?

If your sister is withholding documents etc that interfere with your father's ability to get benefits (especially medical benefits!) she is not fulfilling her legal duty as PoA in a BIG way. It endangers his health. Consult a lawyer about getting her removed as PoA. A judge can appoint a new one.

And if I am not understanding you correctly, if your dad is not deemed medically incompetent, he can renounce any poas and do a new one. Still sounds really odd to me the whole thing.

Yes, have your Dad sign a new POA, naming you. The one your sister has, if she actually has one, will become invalid. You should get an attorney to do it (one who specializes in elder law), but it sounds like money is a concern. You can actually go online to a site like Legal Zoom (that's just one of them) and fill one out very cheaply. Then, it's just a matter of taking your Dad and some witnesses to a notary to make it official.

The posts here are all very good and have correct advice. Please don't feel that you are alone in your situation either! My older sister is POA; she lives 15 miles away but can't always physically reach us, which makes things....complicated. Meanwhile mom is in a nursing home & dad, 93, lives in his house with my husband, daughter and I as his main caregivers who also live with him. So once again: you are far from alone in a conflicted situation. This site is wonderful & I hope it helps you! Many hugs!

Is she his Health care AND his Financial POA?? And yes, if he's still competent and capable of understanding what's going on, he can sign a new healthcare POA form and that automatically overrides any previous POAs. You certainly can show she doesn't act in his best interest if it ever comes down to going to court to settle this. The "proof" is in the reason he was turned down for Medicaid. Certainly neglect of duty on your sister's part.

One more thought: If your sister has POA and she never comes by, and has nothing to do with her father for whom she is POA, she needs to be replaced immediately.. She is POA for all the wrong reasons. In fact, she is obstructing his care. Get the DPOA drawn up, (durable power of attorney means you still manage all your dad's care even when he is incompetent!). Tell him this new document will help you take better care of him because right now your hands are tied. Once he signs it, you get all Dads ducks in a row for him yourself. Sis can ...well, I can't say it here.

Your struggle is in wanting to do the right thing but you fear conflict with your sister. That means she controls you too. Rise above it.

I have to agree, you are avoiding conflict with your sister, who is not seeing to the best interests of your father. I certainly would go get your own DPOA with an elder law attorney, that will solve the matter and your sister doesn't have to be informed. She doesn't have authority over you and it sounds like she has no interest in taking care of the duties as POA, she only wants to prevent you from helping while she sits back doing nothing.

You do not say where you live, but first I would call the attorney who allegedly drew up this POA, and ask for a copy. If the attorney refuses, say you will file for guardianship because your father lives with you, you have direct contact with him, and you provide financial assistance. Then go to Probate Court, and ask the court to appoint a guardian ad litem for your father. The Court will compel your sister's attorney to produce documents which state how often she visits, how much money she is spending, etc. A guardian ad litem really works solely for your father's best interests. That person is responsible to report to the judge, and make recommendations as to the appropriate person for a POA or guardian. If your father has dementia and is medically (signed by a doctor) that he is incompetent, then your sister's POA is invalid. The next of kin can get birth certificates from US states, and Puerto Rico is a US territory. Best wishes and keep being an advocate for your father.

1. Your sister is accusing you of wanting Dad's info to get his money, 2. Sister has no contact with Dad and certainly doesn't realize what is involved in caring for him. 3. She is threatening to put him in nursing home. Idea: Call her bluff. Let her try to arrange for his care. Let her see how much effort that will require on her part. Let her see what kind of contact with Dad will be necessary on her part. Let her see how much it will cost her financially, emotionally, socially, etc. to get Dad in a nursing home. Since she has POA let her take the responsibility that goes along with that authority.
I seriously doubt if she will ever appreciate all that you have done and are doing for Dad, but maybe she will at least talk about who should have the POA and relinquish it to you so you can more easily give your Father the care that you are already providing and that he deserves.

Thanks everyone for the great advice. I have contacted elder services and was told just about the same thing. I was also told she can be charged with elder neglect. I am afraid to call her bluff as I am afraid she may actually take him out of my home' she has told my son she doesn't care if he dies. I am also overwhelmed by the amount of work all this is and just don't have the energy let alone time to fight her. I know I will just have to suck it up but this is just another thing I don't need. Once more Thank You all. and I will certainly be using your advice. This truly is the best site. I have received great advice, therapy and kinship from you all.

There are 2 kinds of Powers of Attorney: Health Care and financial. So first its important to figure out which one he has signed.
A POA can be changed or revoked at any time by your dad.
You can get a duplicate copy of his birth certificate from the county where he was born.
Filing for guardianship will not give you control over his finances. A conservator is responsible for the financial part, a guardian is responsible for the care and well being of the individual.
Talk to legal services or an attorney on your dad's behalf. He is the one who needs assistance.

Norman, you have NOTHING to fear from your sister. Nothing. She is taking advantage of you, and your father. She is getting away with an extremely important issue here--your dad's life and his care.

Trust me, I KNOW how intimidating your sister may seem. It's all smoke and mirrors. She is using your ignorance against you.

Knowledge is power. Take what we are teaching you and put it into action. Get a DPOA TODAY! It's not expensive!!! Get a notary to come to the house if you can. The minute it is signed, it's you and dad, not sissy and dad.

Does his SS check go to sissy? Does she have all his banking and financial info? If so, tell her you have dpoa and you need it to manage things. She won't like it one bit. Then get elder services to tell her for you. She won't like that either.

Sissy cannot do a thing to hurt you but get mad. Let her. Mine belted me in the jaw when I did this, but I stood my ground. I called the police just because I could to let her know I wasn't taking that from her. She was made to sign something that stated she would never ever step foot on this property again! (that is really what happened, so don't laugh! I'd never heard of it either, but she signed it and I haven't seen her since that day last year!!!) Elder services can explain to your dad that sissy is not going to be poa any more cos she didn't do her job right, and since dad lives with you, it's just the right thing to do.

And if Dad lives you, His social security check can be deposited wherever you set up an account for it. You will be his representative Payee. It's that simple. Show them dad lives with you and you have his care.

No more bullying from Sis. She needs to get the hell out of your way.

I have POA for my mother and I am her caregiver, BUT I tell both my sisters, everything that is going on and have documentation available to them to check out bank accounts or anything else they may be concerned about.

If I were you I would first call the attorney who made out the POA if I knew it and ask for a copy of it, if they will give it to you. Second or maybe first, I would call an attorney and ask for legal help. There are agencies that can help for free and if there is an Alzheimer's Caregiver Agency around you, call them and ask if they can point you to a free attorney.

It sounds as though your sister took POA for her own benefit, not for the benefit of your parent. If there was any money in accounts, you may find out that they have been depleted. She has grabbed POA to be able to make all decisions on her own, the thing is she is suppose to be making decision for the welfare of your father, not rob him blind. If she doesn't know that he is even living with you, don't tell her, you may need to use this against her to have her removed as POA, this is the position you should hold as you know what he needs.

Voiding And Termination

The power of attorney document can be voided several ways. If the document has not been registered, it can be terminated by:

The principal’s death
A termination procedure designated in the original power of attorney document
Destroying the document if the principal is still competent
Revoking the durable power of attorney by a writing document that is signed, notarized, and sent to the attorney-in-fact by certified or registered mail if the principal is still competent
If the document has been registered there are also multiple ways to terminate it, including:

Revoking the durable power of attorney by filing a written revocation in the register of deeds office where the original document was filed
The death of the principal
The unavailability of an attorney-in-fact
The principal’s divorce from the attorney-in-fact in several states, including Alabama, California, Colorado, Illinois, Indiana, Minnesota, Missouri, Pennsylvania, Texas, and Wisconsin
If the attorney-in-fact dies, and the principal has not named an alternate, the power of attorney document is also terminated. Regardless of the way that the power of attorney is revoked, the attorney-in-fact should always be notified of the termination of the document.

Quick question. My brother is the DPOA of my 91 year old father with dementia. He is withholding any medical information from me and my sister. When my father is in the hospital as he is now, what kind of information can I get from the facility? Can I ask if he slept during the night?, if he is eating his meals?