Hospital infected mom and she is now needing 24 hour care. I had breast cancer last year and ovarian cancer this year. I work full time but can't seem to get my older (retired) siblings to help. I believe five straight years of chronic stress and caregiver burnout probably contributed to my health issues. This hamster needs to get off the wheel but can't seem to find where to start. How can I get siblings to step up?
Forget your siblings. Mom needs professional care.
I can sympathize with you, my friend. It is hard to get siblings to step up. For whatever reason it feels like everyone just wants to step away and let the one sibling take it all on. Like SnoopyLove said I don't think your siblings will have a change of heart. I think its better to talk to a social worker and look at other options.
I too tried to do it all on my own with my dad after his stroke till his passing. It was a mistake. I felt so much anger and resentment towards my siblings. I should have known better than to try and get blood from a stone. I should have hired outside help or considered assisted living instead. Everything is 20/20 in hindsight.
Sending you my thoughts and prayers. I hope you can focus on your own health and well being. Thinking of you.
When I was caring for my dad it was just me and my brother and he and I were very close. My dad lived with me and I did all the caregiving. I thought my brother should be doing more but he wasn't and I was beginning to get resentful.
When things reached a point with my dad where I was out of my mind from stress and strain I called my brother in tears and during the conversation asked him to please help me. He was more than happy to help! He figured that since I never asked for his help he assumed I didn't need it. And I assumed that since he never offered to help help he was unwilling to. We were both so wrong! From that moment on I took care of everything health/medical and my brother took over money/finances. We became a great team. And today, 4 years after the death of our dad, we're closer than ever.
Ask your siblings to help. Be specific with what you need help with. "Brother, mom has a doctor's appointment on Wednesday, can you take her?" or "Sister, I have an appointment on Monday. Can you come over and stay with mom while I'm gone?"
Good luck to you.