My Mother's former caregiver goes to visit several times a month. She always reports back to me that my mother has no shampoo, no soap and some of her clothes are missing. I pay the pharmacy bill that includes medicine and shampoo and soap. For $11,300 a month that includes laundry, I think the Memory Care facility should be more careful with my mother's clothes. I live out of state and have no idea what goes on regarding supplies and clothes. Does anyone else have this problem of no supplies and missing clothes?
At first I used to get very upset over every incident. My theory now is not to sweat the small stuff as long as she is safe and getting the proper care. And I recommend visiting often and being observant.
I am a receptionist in a Memory Care facility and deal with the residents daily. One gal knocked on the lobby doors the other day and I went to see what she needed. She was holding 3 bathroom items; a bottle of body wash, a stick of deodorant (with a BITE taken out of it), and a bottle of shampoo. They had her name and room number written on them with black magic marker. She demanded to know WHO the items belonged to? I told her they belonged to her, and that I'd help her put them back inside her bathroom cabinet. She had a meltdown, insisting they were NOT hers but 'someone else's'. I said Okay, kept the items at the front desk for an hour, and had one of the care givers put them back in her bathroom later on that day.
The residents have no idea what's going on. This is why the administration suggests each resident have only minimal clothing and bathroom items in their room at any given time, and no items of value AT ALL.
It's important to know that there is no 'malicious intent' involved.......nothing that requires a 'police report' to be filed, nothing about 'stealing' and things of that nature. It's all to do with dementia and loss of reasoning, memory, cognitive power. In the end, the 'stuff' doesn't really matter; it's the CARE that does.
It can be frustrating to have to replace items for a loved one residing in Memory Care, I know, so I feel your pain.
How someone else's clothes get into mom's drawers/closets when they insist each resident's laundry is done separately doesn't add up, but I see no point to bringing this up again. As you say, the care is the important part... I just hope if someone sees their mom's clothes on my mother they don't think she took them!
I complained to staff that I had to keep searching for it. They had no answers. All her clothes disappear over time so only left her a few outfits and took the rest home to launder. Then all these strange clothes started to show up in her closet. I was told it was stuff from residents who had "passed". Checking name tags I realized that wasn't true. Staff wasn't thrilled when I gathered up all the stuff that belonged to "live" residents and gave it to them to get to the correct residents. It went on and on.
Just before my MIL passed I took home the TV I had bought for her as she was no longer using it (completely bed ridden and slept all the time.) . If the staff had been more cooperative with her stuff I would have let them keep it.
She had good physical care but hoo boy! Everything she owned would grow feet and move to someone else's room.
In MC, residents are bad about "wandering and plundering" each other's rooms. Other residents have probably taken her things.
I never had this problem but others have. Aides taking Depends from one resident for another. I took one pack at a time. Thats 30. Moms bathroom had a cabinet with a shelf under it. I would stuff it with Depends putting the rest in the closet. Are u sure that the toiletries u order are getting to ur Mom?
For me, this was the stressful part of having Mom in an AL and then LTC.
I bought my dad dollar store products and then I knew that the lovely pampering products were not going home with staff, because that is what happens when people are not paid a living wage, they know that no one will question the products missing and it is to much temptation for some.
What irked me was having to provide TP!! Seriously? Our cost wasn't 11k, but still, it was/is enough that having to bring in TP was ridiculous ... I spent too much time buying and bringing the damn TP in! Finally I was told we didn't have to do this anymore (no notice, just found out after the fact.) They use the cheaper stuff, but I don't care, I can stop running out to buy and deliver it!
(although not top of the line, mom does have Dove soap, plenty of extra bars, and none has "walked" yet, and no other toiletries have disappeared.)
Nursing Homes have had this problem for more than 40 years that I know of. Residents will wander in and out of rooms and take what they want. It's not malicious, they just don't know they are not supposed to do this. Even sewing names into all the clothing doesn't help.
My great-aunt was tall and thin and her clothing constantly disappeared 40 years ago from her nursing home. Yes, her name was in everything but it didn't help the problem.
Missing clothing? It would be wonderful if something could be figured out to keep clothing in the appropriate rooms. It could be disappearing after washing a resident wandering or even mom giving items away.
See All Answers