My husband and I are living in the home with her now but she has gotten to the point that we cant take care of her needs regarding hygene, etc as we are in our late 60s and can't do lifting etc. I have 4 siblings who wont help with her care or cant. What do I do?
Do you just need someone for personal care? Or do you need around the clock care?
If you hire privately, as opposed to using an agency, you can save money...but you have to do all the screening, background checks, etc.
I once calculated that, even if I hired someone 24 hrs/day it would still be less than paying a NH in our area. Of course, you would have to be very organized and schedule back up people, etc. There is also a loss of privacy with having someone in your home. And once your Mom needed more "medical" type care, you would probably have to think more on the lines of a NH.
These are the things I think about daily...and there never seems to be a perfect solution. So, I just go with the best one. good luck
I came home and balled my eyes out. My Mom was once a vibrant and active and person who had a personality that people found "magnetic." Now I see her struggling to not "disappear" and I am in awe of it.
I, too, have been trying to arrange in-home care for her and plan to increase it as time goes on. The next step may have to be a facility or return to her home state for care. I am normally a decisive person who can tackle any situation and find a good solution, but this one is testing my mettle.
Our gov. health system talks about helping seniors "aging in place" but does very little to give us good alternatives to "warehousing." Even though I know Mom may need a care facility in the near future, it kills me that she has to be in one.
Good luck...I hope you find the peace of mind to make the best decision for your Mom (PS: do you have her POAs?)