I position my mother in front of the television for a large part of the day-I work from home and this is how I manage it but I feel so guilty putting her in front of the TV for so many hours of the day. She does read sometimes and she looks at the birdfeeders I feel like I should be down there having a cup of tea and talking with her more - I am feeling very guilty about that - Does anyone else have similar pangs of guilt about putting their loved one for hours in front of the TV? She is in a wheelchair. She enjoys three or four different shows, and I just play them on Netflix over and over and over again. She seems to be having fun but I think human interaction would be better I just don’t have the time, will or energy to do it. She is 89 and I have been caring for her for about 2 1/2 years in my home.... thank you
Sounds like your mother is content. That’s a good thing.
We hate to see our parents get so dull. Typically, the shutting down bothers us “with-it kids” more than it bothers our elders. We get stuck on how much WE would hate that lack of stimulation RIGHT NOW. It’s just the age difference talking.
Good luck to you. If Mom’s care needs advance and you are unsure of the best resolution, sift around AC Forum some more. Lots of options have been discussed — for all budgets and all temperaments!
Eventually Dad moved to Independent Living facility to be around people of his own generation. Guess what? Dad preferred to sit in front of the TV watching 24-hour local news.... [sigh].
I am actually really grateful for that little feature on Netflix that starts the next show without me needing to babysit the remote control, because she can no longer work it on her own! But basically, all I added to mom's established routine was to teach her about binge-watching.....
Currently my mom is crushing on the guy from Murdoch Mysteries (I think it's called The Artful Detective in the US), and enjoying every minute he is on screen. HE'S MY AGE. I don't even want to know these things.
MIL was living with him and wife when wife died. He ran his own business. He would get his MIL up, dressed and fed. He would put her in her recliner with a phone, remote, something to drink and snacks. He would go to work and come back for lunch and dinner. She had no Dementia and seemed happy with the situation.
She spends all her time fretting and fussing about this or that. She's on a mission about her B6 toxicity (which never happened), which she blames on a multivitamin. She's contacted the FDA, the NIH, the state medical society, the local medical school. The FDA is now ignoring her calls, so she's contacted one of our senators.
She's losing papers, misfiling things, and I don't think can even concentrate enough to read a book anymore. So sitting and watching some TV would probably relax her.
Don't fret too much about the TV because when you break it down there are people, places etc that she can't get to now but might have been in the past that will trigger old memories for her - other programmes can stimulate the mind with puzzles to complete or questions to answer - if you can it afford & she can follow it, why not get a channel like National Geographic or such that would take her to new experiences - TV isn't just a 'babysitter' it can be a learning experience too if the right programmes are picked & don't forget the news ... she might be more up on some things than you this way but this could also give you new topics to talk about when you are together
In January, amid a long, cold winter, I got that awful respiratory flu that was going around. Once I passed the point of feeling I might die, I spent days on the sofa watching TV. It was oddly comforting and enjoyable.
My mom is 92 and has great trouble walking. This week she will attend church and go to a Mother's Day brunch with me. The rest of the time will be spent in her apartment, in her favorite chair, watching programs on her iPad. Sounds boring to you and me, but she is content. Little goes on in her life that provides interesting topics for conversation. So she tells me storylines from her favorite shows; she talks about characters as if they are friends. I bet she is even looking forward to the royal wedding. TV has its place.
My mother used to be quite critical of friends who in retirement watched soaps and game shows so I don't put those on. But we watch a lot of HGTV home remodeling shows which gives us something to talk about during commercials.
Of course TVLand is a godsend for old sitcoms which I also use to get through any early evening crabbiness.
I know the day will come when TV won't make sense and probably become irritating to my mom, so I figure - use it while I can and be grateful for the little respite it gives us. No guilt!!
She does go to Bingo for a hour two days a week and out to the grocery store one day. That's it for the week, unless somebody comes by. I don't think the TV thing is a big deal. If it's not ALL they're doing....wish we could mom out to walk a little more, go more places, but she's not interested.
DON'T FEEL BAD! They are at a stage were they need easy and simple. If she is happy, then you will be happy. Count your blessings and be grateful. What good are you to her if you can't earn money to support the two of you. Take advantage and when you take a break sit and drink a tea and have a mini cake with her. I am sure she will love that.