also she picks up her yard and throws the limbs in the woods. She keeps herself clean and neat, Her kids want to put her in a nursing home her sons daughter is getting married June 6th and he has a lawyer going to doctors appointment with him to try to get her put in a nursing home, what can we do to stop her from being put in a nursing home against her will?
She would have to be declared incompetent. It sounds like she is doing ok, day to day. But, if she is put in a court room, she might not function well.
My mother also has dementia and lives alone, and so far, she is still able to do all the things you listed above. However, I'd prefer that she be in a place that could provide additional care. You might not see how much involvement her kids have in making sure that their mother is safe in this situation, and it may be getting to be too much for them. If they have jobs, other kids -- maybe grandkids, maybe another set of aging parents, if they live a distance away, this can become an extremely difficult situation to maintain over a long period of time.
My mother also refuses to move, and I got a year's worth of unsolicited opinions from her neighbor. She added so much stress to my life that I ended up telling her, as politely but as assertively as possible, to back off.
You could possibly talk to the kids in the context of telling them how much help you can provide, and maybe they will let you in on what is really happening. You have found out she has dementia so you know a little to start with. it does sound like she would do well enough in assisted living rather than skilled nursing, but sometimes finances preclude that as only skilled nursing and sometimes memory care is covered by most insurances.
My heart goes out to you because you care - and that is partly because a very caring, involved "nosy neighbor" once saved my Mom's life!
~~Angel
I found it rather odd that an attorney would come along on doctor appointments... that's a new one.