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My 84 y/o mom is frantic over me handling her finances because I have not tithed to her old church off of her social security. Her finances are very tricky as it is. We are Christians and tithe ourselves but are struggling with this. Any opinions?
Tithing is an old testament teaching, never mentioned by Paul in any of his instructions to us today. (Tithing is not for today). If it were for us today, you would find it in the Pauline epistles, which are specific to our Grace dispensation. Today we are instructed to be "cheerful givers", & to support the preaching of the "death burial resurrection" Gospel, (that we are saved only by the Blood of Christ the Lord at the Cross.) Blessings.✌
Tithing is taken from "excess" in most Christian religions, only a few require it from "first fruits". Perhaps have a discussion with her pastor and have him/her talk to your mom. As you indicate, there is little to nothing left to tithe. Surely the pastor can tell her that God understands that she needs every penny.
This is something we have been wondering about also. I totally appreciate a forum where we can ask these questions and get honest, Biblically-based answers. My concerns have now been put to rest on this, as I hope yours have also.
I am paying her bills with her SS. The implication was “since I’m using her money” that my interests would be served rather than hers. on income tax: charitable gifts of 10% don’t qualify (at least alone) to itemize so standard deduction esp in coming years apparently
Sendhelp: As far as income tax reporting, tax laws have some changes, e. g. Itemized Deductions in particular may no longer allow a church tithe deduction. I don't know, but I do know that there have been some changes, especially to what a person can deduct and in many cases, a person MAY be so inclined to take the Standard Deduction in 2018 tax filing year because it will be a higher $ amount.
I understand ! My grandmother turned 100 years old on 5/2018 she passed 8/2018, my cousin cared for her and was over all her affairs, and tithing to her church of 70 years was an absolute must, she also lived merely on a small SSI benefit . But this was what she wanted, too give back. As Christian we are taught to tithe 10% of our first fruits and we will be blessed . We as a family had no problem with her wanting to tithe, Her pastor and members were very good to her, unable to attend service her pastor and few members would come to the house with key board in hand and have Sunday service and give her communion. Her Church I would pray is doing the same. Either way if she wants to tithe do it! just pick-up the slack . You'll be blessed.
AT1234: Okay. Maybe I didn't see all of your posts, but you did say "I am not using her money. I am paying her bills." Her SS income is just that-her money. As far as income tax filing year 2018, some Itemized Deductions have changed. As I said in another post, tithes to churches may or may not be deductible. I don't know. I do know that many individuals will opt for the Standard Deduction since in a lot of cases that will be a higher $ amount than one's Itemized Deductions. To meet the Itemized Deduction for MEDICAL, a filer must have 10% of AGI of medical expenses.
As a Christian, I find these comments curious. Yes, the tithe (10%) was instituted in the OT, along with other restrictions, like dietary laws that were kinda rescinded in the NT. However, it's not mentioned one way or the other in the NT; and the tithe of one's income--not of whatever one has left after other expenses--is still the rule in most Christian communities, whether observed or not.
Jesus taught us to pay our taxes--"render to Ceaser that which is Ceaser's"--and after that, ALL we have belongs to God. Not 10%, but 100%. Not just money, but life itself. We are merely put in charge of properly managing God's resources that have been entrusted to us, preferably in a way that glorifies God.
In this lady's case, thoughtful determination of how her meager income should be used to glorify God might mean using it all for her necessary personal care.
IMO, a church that doesn't even provide her with spiritual support during this time is probably not where her money will be best used to glorify God anyway.
In my own experience, I saw to it that my loved ones' regular church donations were presented to the pastor when she visited. When she visited after 6 weeks, I wrote a check for 6x their customary weekly amount, etc. No visits, no $. I also saw to it that 10% of their final estate went to their church, as was their desire. However, my LO could well afford to do this without financial strain or reliance on others for financial support.
Furthermore, tithing is not a requirement to avoid hellfire. It's meant to be a minimum and grateful response to a loving Provider.
That's true, but for income tax filing year 2018, the Standard Deduction has increased; thus some people may opt to take the Standard Deduction if their Itemized Deduction is lower.
I didn't mean to hijack your thread, i saw multiple responses about not knowing if this was still tax deductible, i just did a continuing ed seminar on the 2018 tax changes so i thought i would clear it up for those questioning.
Introduce her to George W. Greene - he's probably the best at explaining that tithing is not required in the NT. We are to give with a cheerful heart, not under compulsion. There are many other pastors and preachers that understand this. The tithe was for the OT. It should also be noted that only those that made a living off the land were required to tithe, and there were at least 3, if not 4 tithes - but irrelevant because it's not required in the NT. It should also be noted that the poor did not tithe, but were beneficiaries of the poor tithe. So many people have been deceived into believing the tithe lie. The poor widow was not an example of how to give either. She was Jesus' example of how widows were being "devoured". Again, I defer to George W. Greene - "In your Bible" videos.
I don't think any tithing is considered "deceitful". Tithing gives us a tangible way to express our thanks and gratitude to God. I would encourage you to seek more than one source to justify non-tithing.
About tithing - I know it is not in the New Testament. We should do what we can to help others as Christ commanded, but this is not a set amount, just what you reasonably can in your circumstances. Also, let's keep in mind that the Old Testament was before current day paying of taxes that supported public welfare benefits - so if you paid your taxes that would have to be counted, at least to some extent, as against any tithe obligation.
Tithing depends on the particular church. In some cases, members of a church (that doesn't include non members/random visitors) are expected to give a percentage of their wages.
My personal opinion is if that is your mom’s desire to please God, I would try to honor it. But make sure her old church is preaching & living the true gospel. If not, see if you can give her tithe to a reputable church or ministry that is doing the Lord’s work. God bless.
I think the key difficulty here is getting your mom to understand and accept that she is unable to give 10% of her “income”. I don’t think she will be open to change her mindset at this point, hence I believe it becomes a matter of how YOU handle it.
If she never looks at her statements and you have full control of her finances then just do what is right. I’d either give what is possible to church, whatever that looks like, or increase your own contribution, and tell your mom she is contributing. It is not lying because you are in fact contributing.
The key is not to get her upset and confused. God would never want to see her or anybody else feeling guilty and upset because they couldn’t tithe. Actually to me when we talk about the widow that gave a little but it was really all she had, what I think about is not money. In life there are so many opportunities to give our all, to serve, to care, to love! That doesn’t require any income.
In summary I would just help her be at peace. She doesn’t need to know any details of how or how much you’are contributing nor she needs to understand tithing pertains to the old covenant versus the new covenant, all of that is good information and conversation, but I’m afraid not for her. She will not feel at peace just with that, opposite to that, she may believe you’re refusing to contribute and that may create bigger problems.
Do what is right and save her worries. As long as you know and feel in your heart that you are doing what is correct then all is fine, specially in God’s eyes. I’m sure He will greatly appreciate it if in compensation you give more of yourself to others, for her, which I think is the currency we human beings really struggle with the most, therefore the most needed contribution!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
on income tax: charitable gifts of 10% don’t qualify (at least alone) to itemize so standard deduction esp in coming years apparently
But this was what she wanted, too give back. As Christian we are taught to tithe 10% of our first fruits and we will be blessed . We as a family had no problem with her wanting to tithe, Her pastor and members were very good to her, unable to attend service her pastor and few members would come to the house with key board in hand and have Sunday service and give her communion. Her Church I would pray is doing the same. Either way if she wants to tithe do it! just pick-up the slack . You'll be blessed.
Yes, the tithe (10%) was instituted in the OT, along with other restrictions, like dietary laws that were kinda rescinded in the NT. However, it's not mentioned one way or the other in the NT; and the tithe of one's income--not of whatever one has left after other expenses--is still the rule in most Christian communities, whether observed or not.
Jesus taught us to pay our taxes--"render to Ceaser that which is Ceaser's"--and after that, ALL we have belongs to God. Not 10%, but 100%. Not just money, but life itself. We are merely put in charge of properly managing God's resources that have been entrusted to us, preferably in a way that glorifies God.
In this lady's case, thoughtful determination of how her meager income should be used to glorify God might mean using it all for her necessary personal care.
IMO, a church that doesn't even provide her with spiritual support during this time is probably not where her money will be best used to glorify God anyway.
In my own experience, I saw to it that my loved ones' regular church donations were presented to the pastor when she visited. When she visited after 6 weeks, I wrote a check for 6x their customary weekly amount, etc. No visits, no $. I also saw to it that 10% of their final estate went to their church, as was their desire.
However, my LO could well afford to do this without financial strain or reliance on others for financial support.
Furthermore, tithing is not a requirement to avoid hellfire. It's meant to be a minimum and grateful response to a loving Provider.
If she never looks at her statements and you have full control of her finances then just do what is right. I’d either give what is possible to church, whatever that looks like, or increase your own contribution, and tell your mom she is contributing. It is not lying because you are in fact contributing.
The key is not to get her upset and confused. God would never want to see her or anybody else feeling guilty and upset because they couldn’t tithe. Actually to me when we talk about the widow that gave a little but it was really all she had, what I think about is not money. In life there are so many opportunities to give our all, to serve, to care, to love! That doesn’t require any income.
In summary I would just help her be at peace. She doesn’t need to know any details of how or how much you’are contributing nor she needs to understand tithing pertains to the old covenant versus the new covenant, all of that is good information and conversation, but I’m afraid not for her. She will not feel at peace just with that, opposite to that, she may believe you’re refusing to contribute and that may create bigger problems.
Do what is right and save her worries. As long as you know and feel in your heart that you are doing what is correct then all is fine, specially in God’s eyes. I’m sure He will greatly appreciate it if in compensation you give more of yourself to others, for her, which I think is the currency we human beings really struggle with the most, therefore the most needed contribution!
May God bless you and good luck!