I didn't see anything wrong with this and was flabbergasted when I was blistered, via email, for doing this, told it was "none of my business", that the letters were between mom, husband (#1) and her. Of course she copied the other siblings with this blast.
I have not been sharing anything IN the letters with other family members or anyone else.
So, after sister's last visit, I discovered ALL of the letters are missing (including those in the safety deposit box). I am feeling undone re all this. Mom and I have been depressed, upset (me-angry, hurt).
This has been a really nice thing for mom to have these letters read to her (her eyesight is very, very poor) as they are sooo very loving, adoring and it really lifts her.
I didn't even ask for the letters to be returned but asked if she would copy them so I could continue reading them. No go..........
I am feeling confused and don't see how this could be a bad, wrong thing.....I need another perspective, feedback. cadams
If you can consult with a private attorney or Legal Services for the Elderly - ask the attorney to write dear old sister a letter to ask for the return of the ORIGINAL letters. Let sis keep a copy if Mom says she can - but the originals are MOMs. Mom decides if her "loving" daughter gets them after her passing or they get donated to the fireplace.
If the lawyer letter doesn't work,,,I don't know what the courts are like where you are, but here in Maine you can file suit against someone for personal property - it's a fairly fast and inexpensive process, like filing an eviction action. It's faster than Small Claims court (also an option). It would be a hard thing to do to drag mama into this, but she'd have to be the plaintiff unless you have POA or guardianship.
And get Mom's safety deposit box lock changed - Sis obviously has a problem with boundaries & I'd worry about the other items your Mom has there for safekeeping. Sis clearly has no business having access.
You have done NOTHING wrong by reading those letters to your Mom as she requested. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Good luck, sweetie.
I agree with Fontes and DIL - take forceful action to get them back. They're your mother's property and the daughter had no right to steal them. To steal something so precious from your mother is cruel.
You might even get an attorney to write a letter for free by searching for pro bono attorneys in your area, if you mother qualifies for free legal advice. Even if they won't write the letter, it will be done in legal terminology that you could jot down and recreate in your own letter. Also include an outside deadline so the issue doesn't drag on.
With that being said, I would not involve all siblings as the other sister did unless it is to avoid a court case. I would ask mom if she would like those letters back. If she says yes, insist that she be the one who ask for them back. She may also ask this other sister to be involved in the reading.
If all else fails and mom want to pursue the issue further, than I would consider a court case but only after involving the other siblings. This needs to come from mom as much as possible.
You all be blessed.
My advice, since she already has the letters, is to let this go. Oh, sure, you could go nuclear, but to what end? Mom has her husband in her heart...you've already read some or all of them and gotten the flavor of their love for each other. All the nuclear option will do is give your bitch of a half sister power over your lives. And, as you say, make you both sad.
Let it go. Life is much too short. Don't let Ms Bitchy Pants have the satisfaction of letting one more day go by thinking about this.
When you talk about it with your siblings, say something like, "Yeah, well, she stole them from mom, but she would have gotten them anyway." And then follow with 2015's most popular catch phrase, "It is what it is." ;)