I bring to dialysis doctor appointments cook clean house and all he does is screaming at me for hours sometimes all night so I don't get any sleep he calls me the devil and Iam abusing him he can't walk I do every thing but it not enough Iam at the end of my rope I think he's trying to break me or something have to get away but I don't want to leave him cause I know he can't do anything for his self but what about me I can't keep going on like this my chest hurts Iam tired from no sleep just tired of all the screaming and belittling and he can't see what he doing to me I think he really don't care need some advice
My hubby is sort of that way--although he says he is just "teasing". He can be super hurtful and think it's funny. 90% of the time he's fine. It's that 10% of mean that really hurts, I can't imagine him being like that all the time.
If he's healthy and just being a jerk, why do you stay? Get him evaluated and see what options you have. You're not alone in this---come back and give us more information and you can get a lot of support.
Second, open all the windows and doors so the neighbors can hear.
What will this accomplish, you ask?
1) You will be able to determine his ability to self-control or if he cannot help it due to illness. Then, you can choose to place him if he can no longer control himself, or, you can lay down the law to say you won't take it anymore, that he is not your drill sergeant, and he better shape up, cause you need a man.
2) The neighbors will hear this as abuse and call 911 for your protection.
3) If YOU know there is someone coming, or someone listening to the tirade, you yourself will become more confident and aware of how to control your response to him, this may change the dynamic between the two of you, and force a change, at least temporarily.
4) It is not abandonment if you go outside away from this behavior, until he stops. Sit in the garden, or in the car.
5) When you are ready, you can be thinking clearly if you must leave, because you don't deserve this treatment.
6) Pack a bag for an emergency.
So sad that you are going through this. Hugs!
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Be sure to be ready and leave the house whenever the caregivers do come to give him baths.
Ask his doctor to Rx some more caregiver hours. No one person can be responsible for this level of care.