My mother is 88 years old, uses a walker and lives alone in her house. Except for my middle age brother who stays at her place three to four days a week. He has a personality disorder. Her bedroom has a bathroom attached. The sink is now on the floor. It is extremely old and my brother couldn't get parts need to fix whatever is wrong. He is trying to glue the parts my mom said. He hates my mom spending money. She says she needs a new sink but my brother doesn't want her to get one. She won't go against him ever. He would yell and drive her nuts if she got a new sink. I told her she needs to go against him anyway. She says she won't. This is not new behavior it has been going for 20 years. Dad is dead. Only one other relative and mom won't listen to her.
Do you know why she gave you her Power of Attorney? (A very big step, by the way) Because she trusted you to help her when she couldn't help herself. That time has come. Don't equivocate; don't make excuses; don't rationalize. The time is now.
Get your mom's sink fixed. Instruct your brother in your best authoritative voice that you have taken over maintenance of mom's home, and it will be maintained by you to safe and convenient standards that YOU set for your poor old mom.
Take your mom's checkbook home with you. If she has charge cards, take them home as well. Let your brother know he's not in charge in no uncertain terms.
He is brow-beating your mother. It's time to pull the trigger and take over for her. She will be grateful long-run. Tell your brother if he has any problems with the way the house is managed or maintained, your mom is no longer responsible for it; he is not to bother her about it; and to stop harassing her.
If he doesn't, you simply MUST get social services involved. Whether you realize it or not (I don't think you do), this is elder abuse.
She's counting on you. Don't let her down.
Your brother in his controlling ways is being unreasonable. I understand she doesn't want him to get mad and leave. I hope you can find some way to work this out as a threesome. Losing your brother is not something you want for your mom. He's her son and he is company. I have a feeling there is a way to come to meeting of minds. (What kind of personality disorder does he have?)