I have been caregiving for my grandma with dementia. She has been refusing to drink coffee or water lately because she is so embarrassed about having an accident. When I put any drink in front of her she always reminds me of her fear of an accident and will take the tiniest sips. She will refuse soup or fruit too because of the fear she will have diarrhea from it. She seems a little dehydrated from this and her skin gets very dry. She also gets constipated a lot because she refuses to eat any veggies. I try to downplay her embarrassment of an accident, telling her if she does have one, I will just clean it up and it won't be a big deal at all. She wears diapers and while she is incontinent, clean up is pretty easy, but she is just completely embarrassed about anything to do with that although she has needed caregiver assistance for years. Is there anything else I can do to get her over her fear or some water in her??
My mother wouldn't drink anything but tea, which is not good when the bladder is excitable. She drinks a lot of water now because I started bringing in the little bottles from the store. I recycle the plastic. I used to refill them from a larger bottle, but that got to be a bit of a pain because she was drinking so much. She has accidents, but I don't make a big deal out of them. Her bladder and abdominal muscles are weak and she is very slow. Fortunately she is on the hardwood by the time she starts leaking, so it is easy to clean. She won't wear protective undergarments.
I've often thought about how much easier getting older would be if the bladder and bowels kept acting right. It can be miserable for older people who can't accept it. I know your grandmother has dementia, but maybe you can put a potty chair nearby, buy her some little bottles of water, and let her know that it is okay if some accidents do happen. They happen for a lot of older people.