My husband is fighting cancer again and refuses to change POA from brother who is a thief, reason for job loss, to older brother who is responsible. Excuse - I refuse to do this because I have to concentrate on getting well. My daughter and I are beside ourselves with the bad things that could happen. My husband could die tomorrow in an accident. What can I do? He refuses to listen.
I am curious what control this gives the Brother over you and your husbands marital assets and finances. I think I would need to seek legal counsel.
Another point I thought about is this: when I got all the forms to do my dad and mom's POAs, (several years ago before they were both so deep into dementia as they are now), I worked on the forms, had an attorney friend to read them over, I also had paperwork done at the same time so that I would have guardianship of them and will be the executor of both wills. Mom and Dad were happy to sign them and it was the best decision we could have ever made. With that being said, do you know the extent of your hubby's POA? They are not all the same. And, does it include the guardianship language or make any kind of provision for what happens if he become unable to make a decision to change it. My attorney friend said that it is common practice to include these things together.
Just thinking........................sorry. I know this is a worrisome thing for you. Nothing harder than trying to make good decisions for and taking care of someone who doesn't want to cooperate. Good luck. I would certainly get some legal advice.
Before you disentangle, you might want to tell your husband what you are doing and why. That if his brother is in charge of him at some point, you may have to divorce to protect yourself from the brother in law. That might cause your husband to reconsider.