Mom's roommates relatives are sleeping overnight in nursing home. Their loved one is in hospice care. Is this common?
My mother just got admitted to an NH/Rehab center for a fractured hip. She is in a two bedroom room. The other patient is a lady who is dying; her family has called in hospice care. I have met the family and they seem very nice, but one of the daughters told me she and her sister sleep in chairs in the room overnight. My mother told me the woman moans sometimes in her sleep. Is this common practice at nursing homes....that they allow the relatives to sleep overnight in the room? They are from out of state, but the husband of one of them stays overnight at the mother's condo in town. I don't mean to sound heartless, but we did not do this with my father when hospice was called in. I would think there would be rules against this in the nursing home. When I asked the unit manager why my mother was in a room with a hospice patient, she told me they didn't have room to move her anywhere else. This doesn't seem true....I took a walk around the nursing home and there looked to be plenty of empty rooms. Any thoughts?
12 Answers
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I would suggest that both you & your mom say that mom isn't able to sleep or get fully rested as her roommates visitors are there overnight and very emotional after visiting hours on a daily basis. I would try to stay late a few days to be able to note the specifc time that they show up…..are they eating and watching TV too? Geez.
Then you write a short but concerned note about all this in writing and faxed over to the DON - Director of Nursing and also to the social worker for the facility. I bet neither are aware this is happening on a regular basis as it is late night.
Now also you should be having a care plan meeting for your mom. Usually it happens at about the 2 or 3 week mark @ a NH. At the care plan meeting you want to mention this is happening and also you want to make sure it is written into the care plan meeting notes. You will be asked to sign off on the meeting, so if they don't put this in (about the visitors staying overnight) you want to write it in and anything else that was overlooked.
About the rooms, have a friend call the admissions office to see if they have available beds for rehab short-term stay.
Also I'd go and speak with the physical therapist or the OT that is working with your mom in rehab asap. I'd mention that you are concerned that she is not seeming to be progressing in her rehab as she is just not getting her rest and full sleep at night as there are always overnight visitors to her roommate so she is starting out the day tired. It is kinda important to get this in because right now she is on Medicare paid for rehab at the facility. But if she does not seem to be "progressing" then the PT or OT can write that in her chart and she will be discharged from Medicare once she hits her 21 or 28 rehab days prescribed by the MD. So you don;t have time to waste on all this. Good luck.
I've been there and done it twice for both my Dad and MIL but it was only for the last 24 hours of their lives.
My dad was a VERY difficult patient in the hospital. ICU even made a very rare exception to allow me to stay overnight, my mom was there in the daytime.
Mom or I were there overnight for every hospital visit, but he had single rooms. The hospital he typically went to was mostly single rooms. The nurses would even bring a rollaway. On some rare exceptions we had roommates, but always were respectful and quiet.
I know my grandmother, uncle or dad always had an either an adult child or spouse companion for every serious hospital Stay. In my family it is an expectation, but we are a pretty intense bunch. Rehab had a policy that only professional caretakers were allowed overnight.....we had to hire one, private pay....that is how difficult a patient my dad was. When my uncle was in rehab my aunt paid an up charge for a double room, so she could sleep over they even included meals. I think this is becoming a more accepted practice because facilities are accommodating it as you can see from my examples.
I repect your right to not want overnight guest, I also understand not wanting to leave bedside particularly in hospice, the prognosis may be short term. The nurses are likely not in any hurry to get rid of he family, if they are helpful...keeping the patient calm.
Even with my personal entrenched family expectations and traditions, I would side with you on this, overnight guests should be restricted for single room situations.
You are not being mean you have the right to advocate for restful environment for your loved one.
I hope the facility can work this out.
Good luck.
Definitely complain first.
It is not a sanitary situation if this woman is smearing feces all over the room. And, with the staff situation being what it usually is in facilities, clean up could take a while. Yuck.
Start with the RN on the floor, then go on to the Director of Nursing, , the Social Worker and finally the Administrators of the facility. Don’t just put up with this. It’s not fair to your mom.
You need to go up the ladder. First complaint should be to the Unit RN. Then the Diretector of Nursing then to the Adminstrator. No one should be in a room with a dying person. And family Members need to have respect for the other person. I saw this at a rehab where Mom had been. Family was in a woman's room all day long. She had a private bed I think. She didn't like to be alone and no she wasn't elderly.
Then email the DON ( director of nursing) in which you mention your concerns & you close email with a one line sentence that you have video of the 💩 & print out a copy which you leave with unit/floor RN for mom’s sector. That room needs to be completely sanitized including furnishings. Your mom needs to move into another room ASAP. & facility needs to replace any of her exposed items, like her toothbrush, towels, bathing supplies or anything else mrs nasty bottom could have laid hands on.
If your mom has ever had a C Deff infection in the past mention that in the email as you would not want a preventable repeat of C deff due to facility negligence.