Follow
Share

An elderly friend of mine died a year ago. My elderly aunt was her POA and my sister is listed as second. A little over a year ago, when my aunt fell and broke her hip, my sister took over as POA. At this time the elderly friend was alive. 4 months later, the elderly friend died. Since then, sister has not done any of the necessary paperwork to settle her rather large estate and won't return the lawyer or anyone else's calls...including mine. Apparently if this goes on for three years the estate just goes unclosed and she can take the money. There is a large sum of money involved in this estate. 4 years ago my sister did the same thing with our fathers estate. I couldn't believe it was happening so I just let it go figuring that it would work out in the legal system....my dad did have a will and she and I were to split everything. She was executor of his estate. 3 years went by and then I got a letter from the court saying that they could remedy the situation, case closed. I never received my 1/2 but worse....much worse, I lost a sister. Now....I am watching my sister do this all over again with my deceased friend. My question....what can be done to remove someone or stop someone from doing this? It's so frustrating to sit back and watch. The deceased lady has almost no family, I am pretty much all she has to help her (she would want her estate settled properly). But I am not family and not listed on any paperwork etc. is there anything that can be done to stop my sister from stealing this money? I can not afford to hire a lawyer myself and just don't know what to do. Are there any agencies that can help DECEASED elderly?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing

21 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
file complaint with the District Attorneys Office.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
You can try calling legal aid. Contact your register of wills/probate court, they may be able to advise you. Good luck
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Lucy's mom, good luck to you in this matter. I will pray for a right outcome.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
That should read my lawyer called the bank..........................
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Cheribob...Well, the bank was to review the Line of Credit in August. I call them and was told "David indicated to me that he is going to take care of it". I told the woman I sure hoped so because not only did my dad have dementia, he also has a fuel oil leak on the property, which so far has cost about $20,000 and it's still not over with. My called the bank and they refused to give her information stating that my dad was not the borrower. She then wrote to the banks attorney and was told the same thing. The only one that can give info is my son, the borrower, so she drafted a letter to him basically saying that his grandfather's health is declining and we need to know what the status of the loans, I say loans because there are 2 mortgages is. She also sent along the paper for him to sign to get permission to have the bank let us know the status. We do know that one mortgage is open for late charges and fees and once they're paid, that one can be closed out. The $100,000 Line of Credit, we know nothing about. I do know that the last time my son was in dad's house was Aug of 2012 and that was to sign "divorce" papers, which was really the loan papers. The Notary just happened to work for my son and as far as dad can remember, my son came alone. That means he took the papers back to his office and had her notarize them then took them to the bank. It also just happens that my son is the engineer for the town the bank is in and the loan officer was the daughter of one of the councilwomen. I took dad to my sons office in June to discuss the loan, but we were pretty much thrown out of his office. He was so rude to us, me especially. He told me dad that day that he would call him and take him to the bank, but he never did. He has no clue as to dad's mental state but he now has a clue that I will not take this sitting down! The ball is in his court. Either he signs the papers or we go to court. The bank does not want this in court as it's a small local bank and the publicity would hurt them. My dad was also a prominent politician and his name is well known all over our county. We're waiting to see if my son does the right thing and signs the paper. Out of all this, he told me in his office that day, YOU DO NOT CONTACT MY KIDS, COME TO MY HOME OR PUT THEIR PICTURES ON FACEBOOK. His twins are 10, 11 in June and I was with them 4 days a week. So now I can't see them. It's ok though, my main concern now is my dad. It won't be long until he needs care in the house. I have to know where the house stands in that regard. So, that's the story as of today!!! Thanks so much for caring!!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
May I ask, how much money do you feel you lost, in your father's estate? And in the current estate? Is it ten grand, or half a million? I'm just trying to get a sense of the scope here. It wouldn't be worth hiring an attorney for under 40-50, 000. But if its more like 500, 000 then yes you should find a way to hire an attorney. This sounds far too complicated to get any reliable answer here on Aging Care, except that unfortunately you need a lawyer, and, most lawyers will give a free short consultation, and if they cannot help they will let you know that really quickly. Anf maybe refer you to someone who can handle it.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Thank you all for your thoughts. I believe my sister is also named executor, not just POA. She was in my dads case as well. Carol, I too do not understand why the state of NH let my dads estate go unsettled, but after 3 years, I got a paper saying that all attempts to reach her had failed and the file was being closed, unsettled. I couldn't believe it. For 3 years I waited and assumed the legal system would catch up with her and I wouldn't have to go up against my sister. My dad had a will and I thought it would all work out. Recently I've been told that after 3 years cases like this close....in NH and Ma. At least...given my sisters behavior, it seems she is doing the same thing with this estate that she did with my dads....she has not filed any of the necessary paperwork and won't return the lawyers calls for over one year now. This estate is much much larger than my dads estate. There is no family for this woman who died over a year ago...except for one person across the country who is unsure she wants to persue this given the fact that lawyers are expensive and by now my sister could have emptied the accounts. It's a tough situation because neither of us can really afford to hire a lawyer. I just can't believe I am watching this happen again. I really would like to stop this. Perhaps I will look into some of the advice given above to see if there is a way to get legal help without having to pay up front....does anyone know if elder care services extend beyond the persons death?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
In 2008, my mom set up a CA living trust with three executors: myself and two alternatives (both live out of state) to handle her affairs when she was unable to. As the first POA in line, I started to handle her financial accounts and life directive decision from February 2012 to September 2013. She still lived in our CA condo until April 2013 then was moved to a rehab NH after sustaining injuries from several falls. Mom was in rehab NH from April until May 2013, then moved to a board-and-care place from June to August. My brother then moved her in September 2013 to an assisted living private room in OR State where Mom lived until she passed in November 2014. When I had got overwhelmed in September 2013 with her mental, health and financial issues, I turned over full responsibilities of POA to my brother in OR since he was the closest to Mom anyway. Our CA condo was bought in joint ownership in 1991. I am now waiting for her death certificate so that I may meet with the CA attorney to legally transfer Mom's estate half of our property to me as sole ownership recording with the CA county where I live. Mom left no assets other than the condo, and I was the only family out of six sibling members as beneficiary to receive all her assets. The condo is my only residence possible in CA since I have no other place to go but relocate out of CA State due to a long unemployment situation.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
In my state (TX), one has to go probate court with the will to be named Executor. No one will do anything with the estate or for the person named executor until he/she has Letters Testamentary given by the court. Then the court requires named heirs to be notified via letter, requires various forms delineating the valuables of the estate and then a final report about distribution. These are public records and anyone can request them, as I understand it, so go to the county where your parent died and request a copy. If the estate was valuable, this is worth it!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Exception, my military POA states specifically that I "act as if I (my husband) were in fact doing whatever needs to be done (it describes all possible contingencies) as if it were me" so I do what is in our best interest and know what my husband would have wanted in 99% of the times. I don't always get it right, but I try...
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Lucy's mom - Don't leave me hanging! What was the outcome between you, your father & your son?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
This question seems to be missing some very important details. A POA does not give anyone the right to make decisions for the issuer of the POA. A POA is intended so that a person can execute documents and use their signature to tend to matters per the issuer of the POAs instructions. Many people accept this as the rigth to make decisions for someone. In order to make decisions for someone you need Guardianship. Guardianship is a much more complicated process that requires lawyers and psychiatrists to affirm that the subject is not able to make those decisions. If there is a POA that is making decisions for the subject there is a court process to stop it but it is hard to stop or prove because the subject may have conditions that limit there cognitive ability which makes it difficult to follow through with an objection. adding to this is a public perception that a POA gives the right to make decisions and will be accepted as such.

In no case should a POA be valid after death. There must be an appointed executor. If there is none due to a lack of a will the court will take over. This is usually done by the office of the County Surrogate. You must file an objection to the will with the county Surrogate in order to stop the process and have them examine the will. To do so go to a lawyer and initiate a Contest to the will.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
My sister and I had to go to court to have a corrupt LLC removed from my Mom's care. They were burning off her estate by having the "Guardian" leg of their business in conjunction with the "Executor" leg of their business rapidly attempt to bankrupt her. My Mom was recently widowed and suffered from dementia. I heartily recommend having separate businesses address guardianship and executorship. So sad that there are wolves out there preying upon the elderly and infirm!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Try contacting your local Probate court and see if there is a document you can file to have an investigation launched into your sister's POA activities. In most cases, there is a waiver you can file as well that states you are unable to pay the court costs. Good luck. If not, there probably isn't much you can do. If you ever had anything in writing about your own father's wishes about giving you half, you could file a suit through legal services (free to you) and get your half of the estate. Best wishes!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
I have a son who 2 years ago when his grandfather (my dad) was 92, he came to the house and had my dad sign papers. For what? Well, dad thought or so he says anyway, that they were divorce papers, as my son was recently divorced. Just didn't sound right, so I called my son. Nope, not divorce papers, and not my business and I was called a vile name. I since found out that they were papers using my dad's house as collateral on a $100,000 mortgage for my son's business. It's actually a Line of Credit. I also have POA for my dad. He's been diagnosed with dementia and the bank knows this. Rather than deal with my son, I went right to an elder care attorney. Evidently my son either knew dad had dementia back in 2012, or he chose not to believe it. Dad had also added my son as co-executor of his will back in about 2007. I am executor, as I am an only child. My point is that if you have concerns about the credibility of your sister, if an elder care attorney says there is nothing you can do, then you have to let it go. But I sure would speak to the attorney!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Addendum to comment. I meant to say Personal Representative!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
POA dies with the person. The executor ( or Personal Representstive) manages the distribution of the estate. The executor is named in the will, but if this executor is incompetent or dishonest another person can be named. The executor has to keep careful records to prove that the estate is distributed as the deceased wished. If there is no will and no named executor that changes how the estate is handled. Then the state court system becomes more involved. You need to consult a lawyer to find out what will happen and how to make a claim.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
I'm so sorry about this mess. It's true that a POA expires after death. Then it's up to the executor. If your sister is executor, she's in charge. If not, whoever is executor is. I don't understand why your father's estate was let go by the system as it was. The executor is, by law, required to follow the will. In this case, with the friend, there's not likely a lot you can do short of legal action. You could call your state's attorney's office and see if there some pro bono (free) help for a case like this.

Please let us know if you make progress.
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
I also understand that POA expires upon death. The executor of your friend's estate should be taking care of her estate. Did your friend have a will? Is your sister executor of your friend's estate? I wish I could be more help.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
From what I had been told, POA's normally expire upon death. Of course, an attorney would know what loopholes may exist otherwise. If your friend has relatives, it might be best to just contact them for a discussion. legalzoom/power-attorney-end-upon-death-20235.html
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Call an Elder Law Attorney in your state they should be able to direct you.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter