Mom died almost two months ago. I'm stressed from all the things you need to do when someone dies. I'm the executor of estate. Plus I have to deal with difficult brother, Maybe for closing on commercial property. Husband says I know your having hard time. If I say I'm stress he says take bubble bath. But there is complete disconnect about how hard thus is for me. It was always you take care of your mother and I'll take care of my father. He was never good at giving me the emotional support I need. He is a caring person. He told me I'm doing a great job handling all the stuff. I'd rather hear that I understand how hard this is. But it won't take forever. Make sure you take brakes to do something enjoyable. But I would have to tell him to say stuff like that. So it wouldn't mean much.
You may have to show him how to support you. He may have absolutely no idea what you're asking of him. Give him the benefit of the doubt and help him learn to be more supportive. Tell him what you need from him. Be specific. If we don't communicate our needs we can't expect others to meet them.
I have found that if I give him some specific tasks that would help - he is more than willing to do them, just didn't think of on his own. Right now I'm working crazy hours at work and am bat - sh%t crazy. But he is more than willing to do more on the home front - but I have to be specific. "here is grocery list - can you run to the store?" stuff like that. Maybe try this? Good luck to you. Just don't do what I did, I was stressed and crabby and my husband said "I'll take care of son - go get a massage" and I blew up "I don't have time for a bloody massage!" - not helpful all around
I would love to hear from sig other "is there anything I can do to help?" instead of me begging him to help me carry something heavy from the house to the vehicle so I can take items to be donated. I know he's not a mind reader, but give me a break. If he can follow sports teams, he should be able to follow what is happening in my life.... [sigh].