She's 85 and a reader. I thought if there was something I could give her to read, it might be convincing than me trying to explain things to her about how things are and what she needs to do to adjust. Things like speaking up when she has a question, not assuming the worse, etc. She happens to be in one of the best nursing homes in our city, so it's not simply a matter of there being someplace else that would do things just as she wants them. My mother is somewhat of an entitled person and is used to having someone swoop in to make things the way that she wants them. Shes used to being catered to, so there are times she just seems to complain about everything. But when we lived together, she was the same way. The mistake I made early on was trying to meet all her requests. Then I wised up and stopped doing that, but it didn't stop the complaining and constant demands. So, any resources you can point me to to help, would be appreciated. Could be an article, inspiration type writings, short books, etc.
The one thing that worked for my dad, when he was in rehab, was a tough love talk from me about how he was treating the staff. My dad was a smart man and I told him he'd get more (and quicker) care by using honey than vinegar in his dealings with his caregivers. Nursing home employees are low paid and deal with difficult situations involving bodily functions and all kinds of unpleasant things. My hat is off to them, so treating them with respect is fair and smart. Good luck!
Sometimes, abilities like learning new things are impaired in the elderly, but can be enhanced with positive reinforcement.
Btw, my friend has always been very positive to start with.