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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Does your mother have dementia? Or perhaps mild cognitive impairment? That can make big difference, and reading about her condition will be helpful to you.
In any case, when is it really necessary to correct her? Don't do it unless it will make a difference.
If she is telling you about her day and she says Peter helped her bring her groceries in and you know perfectly well that it was Ralph, so what? If it is just the names she is getting wrong it is seldom necessary to correct her. If we corrected my mother every time she got a name wrong we could never have a decent conversation with her! (And this was before her dementia.) You can almost always figure it out by context. You don't "have" to correct her.
If she asks you to pick her up to attend a wedding next Saturday, verify that it really is next Saturday with a reliable source (someone else who will be going) or casually look at the invitation. She will have to know, of course, the correct date. But you really don't "have" to correct her on the spot. Sometime later in the week you can bring the correct date up in conversation, but don't tell her she is wrong.
If she is wrong, and has to have the correct information, think of it as informing her, not correcting her. And if feasible put it off a while -- she may have forgotten what she told you and won't realize she was wrong.
Nobody likes to constantly be corrected, and it is especially hard if you are beginning to doubt your own competence. Give Mom a break. Ignore the mistakes if they aren't important. Give her the correct information if she really needs to have it, but in such a way that doesn't come across as "You're Wrong."
Has your mother been diagnosed with dementia? After a stroke it is possible that she has developed vascular dementia. If she has dementia, correcting her will not be useful and will aggravate her, and trying to keep her on track will aggravate you. Teepa Snow has some very good videos about how to respond to a parent with a dementia. The goal becomes to keep every one as content as possible which involves using some creative answers at times, (therapeutic fibbing) or distracting the person to another line of thought.
I bet one thing she still knows is that she is your mother and doesn't want you talking back to her or bossing her around. It made my InLaws not want to be around one of their daughters as she was constantly telling them they were wrong. It made for unpleasant family get togethers. Daughter acted like they were lying and usually it was over something very trivial.
Likely, there is some reason that mom is giving incorrect information and it's likely not done on purpose. I'd make it a goal to not correct. You can go behind her and fix things, that might have been an issue like the wrong doctor appt. date. But, most things don't matter, because, if she can't recall, she can't recall and no amount of correcting will help. I stopped doing it. I'd also make comments about myself, like, I have to write things down, because my memory is just not as good as you used to be. I'd self deprecate, so she didn't feel bad.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In any case, when is it really necessary to correct her? Don't do it unless it will make a difference.
If she is telling you about her day and she says Peter helped her bring her groceries in and you know perfectly well that it was Ralph, so what? If it is just the names she is getting wrong it is seldom necessary to correct her. If we corrected my mother every time she got a name wrong we could never have a decent conversation with her! (And this was before her dementia.) You can almost always figure it out by context. You don't "have" to correct her.
If she asks you to pick her up to attend a wedding next Saturday, verify that it really is next Saturday with a reliable source (someone else who will be going) or casually look at the invitation. She will have to know, of course, the correct date. But you really don't "have" to correct her on the spot. Sometime later in the week you can bring the correct date up in conversation, but don't tell her she is wrong.
If she is wrong, and has to have the correct information, think of it as informing her, not correcting her. And if feasible put it off a while -- she may have forgotten what she told you and won't realize she was wrong.
Nobody likes to constantly be corrected, and it is especially hard if you are beginning to doubt your own competence. Give Mom a break. Ignore the mistakes if they aren't important. Give her the correct information if she really needs to have it, but in such a way that doesn't come across as "You're Wrong."