Been a while since I posted. I was helping Dad move to AL (he could no longer stay in Independent Living due to his declining health and cognition).
Surprisingly, he adapted to the change to AL much better than I thought he would. I took special care in decorating the room well and making sure the support staff (most of whom he already knows) helped with the transition.
I was on the brink of sighing with relief until he told me that he gave some man $20. This was his last full week at the Adult Day Center (he will only be attending the two days the VA covers), and I guess his FREE transportation was taking too long and he claims he hopped in a cab with someone else and gave him $20.
This brings up the ongoing challenge I've had with attempting to all but eliminate the amount of cash my Dad carries in his wallet. Past entries will enlighten you on Dad's attachment to money, and I really don't want to get screamed at in the middle of a crowded bank again or be called a thief to everyone Dad can get to listen, but this wallet thing has been and is becoming more of an issue.
He DEMANDS to have at least $80 CASH at all times. His sight makes it so that he's challenged with cards (tried prepaid cards-it was a disaster), and quite frankly, after the bank incident, I just decided to let the chips fall where they may.
The director of his Adult Day Center has received complaints that Daddy has been counting his money in front of everyone, and there have been several times that the director has had to return money that Dad has given out. He's dropped cash in the past or lost his wallet. We even had an incident where a terrible caregiver took Daddy shopping and watched him spend every cent he had... So.... it's an issue.
I've tried to convince Dad to leave his wallet at home when he goes to the Adult Center, but I still don't trust the staff at the AL facility, I'm afraid that amount of cash is tempting. Even the prospect of locking it up makes me nervous.
The bottom line is, I NEED to restrict this man's cash. He has no legitimate reason for carrying around that much money as his expenses are all handled by automatic bank draft. I can use his debit card (which I keep for meal outings with me and light snacks for his room).
I guess I just don't want to bear the consequences of reducing him to about $10 tops. He always complains that I treat him like a baby BUT....
HELP!!
"I'm sorry, Mr. Dad, but on this side of the house we have residents who are not as sharp and capable as you are, and for everyone's sake we don't want to have cash in wallets or rooms. It is nothing personal about you. It just works best for all of us if there is no more than $10 for any resident.
We have accounts for each resident. at the the front desk. You can deposit any amount, for example $100, and when you have a need for it you can take out the amount you need. For example, if you are taking the bus to the shopping center you can take cash out. If you don't spend it all you can deposit the change back into your account. If you are going to lunch with your daughter and you want to buy, you can take out cash in the same way. That way you have what you need but the ALF doesn't have thousands of dollars of cash floating around in resident rooms."
Let the ALF be the reasonable bad guy on this.
My idea was to give him counterfeit money..as much as he wants. I know this guy named Frenchy...
Anyway, lots of empathy. Hang in there.
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