My husband and his son went behind my back to try to give his son power of attorney. If something were to happen to my husband, would my step-son have a say about any of our property? In other words, how can I be harmed by his son having power of attorney?
Suggestion, set your page to "Newest first". I think updates tend to be missed when set at oldest first.
One document addresses health care decision making. And should have an alternative choice. Often this is spouse first, and then an adult child/family member who is significantly younger than the person who they will make decisions for. Health care proxy, living will, etc.
The other document is to manage the property ( Real estate, financial assets, personal possessions of value) is the other document. I believe you are referring to this sort of document..and yes, get a lawyers advice. Ideally this document is done as part of joint estate planning. This can be springing (to take effect on a designated date or event such as MD saying he cannot make abstract decisions) or durable (takes effect when signed.)
The fact that this was done with great secrecy is a big red flag. Don't rely on verbal statements, impressions, or assumptions. Signed notarized documents are the key to identifying who can do what.
He can move money into private accounts with dads name and his name - and not yours. If you have a joint account with hubby, he could drain your savings because you and hubby have equal rights to take out money.
If he gets dad to sign a revised will/insurance policies, he could be the sole beneficiary. If you and hubby co-own your house and he inherits half, he could force you to but him out or sell the property. If hubby owns the house and son inherits all, you have nothing.
I’d get legal advice. Pronto.
My mom was in her second marriage and both her and her husband had their own children as POA. So, this isn't unusual. If the properties are in both of your names the son may try to get you to sign for a sale. But, he cannot make you. You night have to be really strong. Don't go borrowing trouble. Try to relax until you know more.
OR
depends on if he owned the property outright before marrying you and what arrangements were made.
I would suggest that you talk to an attorney. No one really knows better than an attorney as while some situations are foundational, I believe each couple has uniquely personal details that only you - and an attorney (and your husband perhaps) need to clarify.
I am curious if something triggered you 'now' to ask us this question?
Gena / Touch Matters
p.s. Touch really does matter, I am a massage therapist. Touch gets the oxytocin - the 'feel good' hormones activated. Hug, give a foot or hand massage, a shoulder rub. It can change your body's chemistry for the better (in most cases).
I would be very concerned if I were you…..you need to protect yourself.
Just one way that you could be injured by this appointment.
That it was done on the sly raises red flags and you should consult an attorney to protect yourself.
I am utterly offended that the man you are caring for would put you at risk. I would reconsider what I would be willing to provide for him if he hasn't ensured that you are fully protected as his spouse in the event of his death.
Best of luck and I hope this was not done with malicious intent.
I have made an appointment with an elder law attorney to find out how to protect myself.
Stepson can only step in if husband is incompetent. If you are competent, don't know where that leaves you thats why I would consult with a lawyer. Get urself a POA to protect u.
Your husband can only give his son POA for his own affairs, not for yours. You would have to execute a POA yourself for anyone to be able to act on your behalf. This means it depends a lot on how finances work presently with your husband. If all the assets are owned by your husband, you may be at as much ‘risk’ from your husband right now as you would be from his son in the future. If your marriage is not giving you confidence, it would be good to get legal advice about how to protect yourself, straight away.
It’s true that it’s a good idea not to use people your own age as Executors of wills or as POA donees, because there is every chance that they won’t be any help when both of you are at the age when help is needed. It’s also true that ‘step’ relationships can cause problems – eg if husband’s children have always seen you as a gold-digger, and both you and they want to inherit husband’s whole estate.
We regularly have questions from people who mix up POAs with Guardianship. If your stepson was your Guardian, he would have huge powers. However there is no suggestion that he is seeking that, or would have any chance of it being awarded by a court. POAs powers depend a lot on the wording of the document. Perhaps it would be good for all of you to look at the document and get joint legal advice to explain what it means in practice and in your circumstances.
There is no need to assume the worst now, but it’s important that you all understand what is happening.