I live far from my parents, and recently spent a week with them. It's been a long time since we've spent that much time in close quarters. A few things I'm worried about:
- Her temper seems to be right at the surface. She's always had a temper, but she controlled it. While visiting, my son did not know she was coming around behind the car and opened his door, hitting her. She pushed it back as hard as she could. He was not injured, but was very upset by it (he's 10 yrs old).
- She wasn't tracking conversations well. I'd tell her something, and minutes later she'd repeat it to me, saying either "I'm not sure who told me this, but..." or "So and so said...". We were very busy (seeing relatives, traveling, etc.) so it could be that she was tired.
- We were leaving a hotel that had those really big revolving doors - the kind you can take luggage in. As we entered the revolving door, she realized she had left something, and turned around to leave through the door, going against the rotation of the door. She didn't make it and got hit in the head by the door. This is not a mistake she would have made a few years ago.
I don't know if these things are part of the normal aging process, or if there is something more going on.
Appreciate any input you all can provide.
If Mom has always had a temper she may just not be working as hard these days to keep it in check. I guess I'd be more concerned if she had always been mild-mannered and that had suddenly changed.
Those huge revolving doors don't look the same as a more common smaller ones so even though Mom knows how to use a revolving door it may not have quite registered that that is what this was.
I'm not making excuses for her but just agreeing that it is really hard to know if these things are part of the normal aging process, or if there is something more going on. Is Dad healthy? Would he recognize when things aren't right, or would he retreat into denial?
Does your mom have anyone close nearby...your dad? Any other siblings? A best friend? If you you might discuss your concerns with them and see if they can't keep a closer eye on her and then go from there. She might be fine when her she's back in her own day to day routine and if so, then you can relaxy for a few more years anyway.
You might want to check this forum from time to time so you'll be better prepared for what might happen in the future If she is in the early stages of any kind of dementia. Sign up for the question and answer email from this site...so many of the questions asked were just what was going through my own head. Forewarned is forearmed and this forum has been a godsend to me in dealing with my elderly father.
The revolving door was one we had been through multiple times already, we'd been at the hotel 2 days and were leaving, I think that's what shocked me the most.
I appreciate the feedback from everyone. I will be seeing her for a week again in about 6 weeks, under more relaxed conditions, so hopefully I can get a better read on her, in addition to asking my siblings what they are seeing.
Since you mentioned parents, has your Dad said anything to you about how Mom is acting, if not, and if he is still sharp, I wouldn't worry about it.
If anyone met my Mom for the first time they would think the poor gal had serious dementia as my Mom can't follow a conversation... but my Mom is sharp as a tack, it's her ever disappearing hearing and being almost blind that gives strangers a wrong impression... in fact, today my Mom was wondering if the CPA had sent form #### [she rattled off the form numbers, I can't remember them] as she said that she and Dad need to sign the form to authorize the CPA to e-file their taxes. Yikes, good for her.
I would be more worried about him at this point, and leave him home next time, for his own protection. Children of any age need to know that they can count on adults for stability and for protection. Even as an adult, I choose to never be in the presence of anyone who, for whatever reason, is going to "go off" on you. Either verbally, or physically. It is just too unpleasant and scary. Your Mom has picked your son to be irritable towards, please leave him home.
See All Answers