My mother is 94 and still living independently, in her own home, and still driving, in Florida. She is basically in excellent health except for some digestive issues that she manages with her diet. I am an only child, living in Atlanta, GA and still working full time. My husband & I plan to retire in 12-18 months & move to the Alabama Gulf Coast. My mother is beginning to get weary of the responsibilities of home ownership and talking about in-home assistance, or assisted living. She's very frugal, and possessive, with her finances and affairs (even with me). Therefore, I'm having a hard time taking charge because she's still extremely sharp, mentally, and in control of her affairs. She's also paranoid of having any type of in-home assistance for fear of being taken advantage of. So...my dilemma... do I seek out in-home assistance for her, in the hope that she could stay in her own home until we move to Alabama and then take her to that area with us? Second, move her to Atlanta area in the short term, which could possibly mean two moves, one to Atlanta, and then another to Alabama? Or, lastly, go ahead and move her to Alabama, since we would be there in 12-18 months. Although, if she were to pass away in the meantime, it would have been easier/better to have her in Atlanta during that time. Help! Open to all feedback & opinions. Thanks.
Does she realize though, that if she were have a stroke, without appointing you or someone POS and Health care proxy, someone she didn't pick will be making financial decisions for her.
In order to help with these decisions, you need to know what her budget for care is. Would she prefer to work with an eldercare attorney ?
I agree about the Durable POA and Healthcare POA. They are essential. If she is refusing to sign them....that would worry me, because that says that she is not thinking clearly, imo. A reasonable person would realize how necessary those documents are, especially for a person in their nineties.