I am taking care of my mother part time and live alone about a half hour away. We have a history of bitter fighting but are getting alone better now. She is increasingly needing more help due to spinal stenosis and mobility issues. My lease is up in Sept and I am $7000 in credit card debt. The only way out of that is to move in with mom. When I left today I felt so much love for her. She is my best friend. She has another caregiver on my days off. I would have the entire lower level of her townhome to myself. It makes sense but based on the fights we had while on a week's vacation together I have my reservations. It seems like a good idea because she is lonely and it would be comforting for her to have me in the morning and overnight. Also, she is controlling and would need to know why i'm leaving the house so i'd have to explain my whereabouts all the time. I'm afraid I'll end up hating it there but I need to get out of debt. Maybe deep down I know its the right thing to do, I don't know.
Anybody regret moving in with mom or worried about it then once you've moved in, it's been fine? I have some time to decide. THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Moving in with Mother in order to save rent money would be selfish in another way, not necessarily a good thing.
Please try to do what is best for both of you. That may include:
1) Spending quality time with her when you make some memories and perhaps overcome some of your past differences.
2) Reduce the amount of time you are her caregiver and encourage her to increase the time of the other caregiver.
3) With your "extra" time, get an additional job and/or look for a better paying job. Get some budget counseling and come up with a plan to get out of debt.
Building a more rewarding relationship with your mother and getting yourself out of debt are not mutually exclusive goals. I'm afraid moving in with her might jeopardize both of them. :(
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop
than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
I think you can substitute mother for wife.
Can you see what you are setting yourself up for? Listen to your logical self. Maybe some classes to further your credentials? Does the caregiver move in too? Hmmm.
(No disrespect to capnhardass, either.)
if you step up to the sacrifice and challenge of caring for your mother full time i think the experience will ultimately be a secret source of self pride to you.
Good night, everyone. xo
in my experience with people nearly all interpersonal dealings stem from mutual needs. ive made hundreds of meals for mom, she bailed me outta jail . were good..
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