She gets better and worse and better and.....If things keep changing...how do i know? My Mom has dementia and is going to be assessed by a Dr. , next Tues. I have been doing lots of research and if I am anywhere close she has like stage 5 Alzh but sometimes she seems way better....shes way confused and most of the time, doesnt know Im her daughter, although Im the only person she sees and i see her @ least every other day, she has no idea who pays her bills (i took that over months ago). Sometimes she seems like late stage 6....completely jumbled words, and just way out of it.. Today i spent 2 hours sitting w/ her and she doesnt make much sense, but seems to enjoy being at home, alone. I bet she is very lonely. She has hallucinations and thinks ppl and small children are with her, during the day. I know its going to be best for her, and hope Doc reccommends assis. living or skilled nursing as I know this will progress, but she keeps speaking of moving to small cottage or lil house and how do i tell her where shes really moving?? will she know??? HELP
Can she get her own meals? Does she remember to? How about toileting? Bathing? Any problems with swallowing? Is she steady on her feet? Can she dial a phone? Does she have a medical alert button? Would she remember to use it in an emergency? Think about these and other activities of daily living, and bring a list with you to the doctor appointment.
Fluctuations in cognitive levels can be very frustrating for caregivers, but I think you have to gear her care for her worst times.
I hope the doctor can provide some answers.
If possible, the doctor should break the news to her that she should not live alone anymore. Give him or her a note before your mother goes in, listing your specific observations, and asking for a statement that she cannot live alone, if the doctor agrees with that assessment.
If it is possible try to do this first. It is usually pointless to talk on a reality level with anyone with dementia, if they do understand during the conversation they with either forget a few moments later or obsess and stress about it, or get angry at you but forget why. You really can never tell what reaction your going to get, stable or not. That is why I suggested earlier in a post just do what's best for her, it's 1 in a million your going to get the reaction you want. I call it "need to know basis" I tell Mom what she needs to know. If it's any relief my Mom adjusted well and thinks she's having parties every day and she's at work. Except when I come it's ice cream break time!!!
P.S. there are better times of the day to have conversations with my Mom it's 2:30 pm - 3:30 pm Keep us posted and remember it's the best thing for her and you.
See All Answers