He is 86. He has a pat history of abuse, but it was 50 years ago, so I thought it was safe to bring him into my home 4 years ago after his mild stroke. He is in a wheelchair b/c of poor circ. in his feet & legs. He is 75% deaf & legally blind. He processes slow, speaks slow, but he is NOT demented at all according to his doctor who he saw last week due to a cold. He spoke to both my daughter and niece (in their early 20's) in an extremely vulgar way, then grabbed my niece. Both young women are traumatized. This just happened yesterday and I too am still in shock and do not know what to do. I seriously do not think I can care for him any more as I cannot even look him in the eye. His only income is SS. He is a Vet. I need both immediate, short term and long term options...help us get him out please!
What he did is not called abuse, it's called assault. Talk to the girls and ask them if they want the police involved or not. The police may or may not take action, but it's the girl's decision to make since they were the victims. Although I'm not totally sure on this, I believe the police can sometimes remove someone in order to have a psychiatric evaluation done.
I am going to assume they do not want the police involved since neither girl has reported this incident. In that case, you need to call adult protective services ASAP and fill them in on the situation, and inform them he is no longer welcome in your home and you will not be involved in caring for him anymore.
And as far as "you will be jail next to him", let's just try to calm down a bit. He didn't abuse young children, these are adult who can make their own choices. Unless you somehow helped him assault these girls or lie about it if the cops ask you, it is in no way "aiding and abetting or even accessory."
This seems rapid and harsh, but you don't want your daughter and niece to feel they can't come visit you because of their grandfather's behavior. I hope you'll be able to find something good quickly. Many hugs coming your way.
The VA has social workers that can help with housing assistance. Also there are shelters (not as bad an option as it may sound) that will take single males immediately and perhaps he can just stay in a shelter until you can arrange for social worker to pick up his case and find placement for him. Hope this helps.
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