I am my dads only child. he has been living with a lady for 20 yrs refusing to marry her so i would inherit his property. They have had public fights about this in front of family members. . She had told him many times if anything ever happens to him that his daughter(me) would make shots,not her he said yes i know. recently hes had delusions of bugs crwaling on him and people talking tohim that is not there. Dec 2015 he went in hospital and Dr told him he had to have by pass..he was seeing bugs then as well. She demanded he go home for a few days before surgery agaisnt Dr orders. In the 2 days at home she drug my dad to a atty and got something drawn up so she would be the ones they would talk to and not me. While at hospital she would not allow me to call and talk to nurses about him and refused to give me passcode. She will now ignore my calls and only return them when shes not with my dad. Its been alot of nasty stuff going on to do with her and her greed. Now 5 months later i have not spoke with him i have to check with my uncle to see how he is and she has brain washed my dad and my dad is septic and to weak to have another surgery to go in to fix a leak in his heart . My uncle asked him today if he wanted dad to call me,..he said no after how she talk to me on the phone and how she snuck out at moms i dont want her around.....I have not talk to him in long time on phone the gf will not answer,..and the sneaking out hes talking about was when i was 16-17 staying at my grandmothers,..im 46 now and that was long time ago hes not mentally stable to be thinking that was a recent thing. Im not allowed at the hospital im not allowed to call or anything.
I wish you could work something out with his girlfriend. It sounds like there is a long history of hostility here. This happens often when a father finds a second wife. I consider that a couple living together that long are married, even without the license.
If Dad now has a chronic condition that he will need care for the rest of his life, there may not be anything left for any one to inherit. Then all this fussing would be pointless (as far as the financial aspect goes).
The only part of this worth working on, it seems to me, is your ability to visit him. See if you can arrange supervised visits, with some topics banned. That would be a start.
I presume you want to maintain a relationship with him whether your inherit or not.
Your title "he has been living with a lady for 20 yrs refusing to marry her so I would inherit his property" doesn't make sense. One doesn't need to be married to a person to inherit assets. One can have a Will saying the sig other, the ex-wife, the next door neighbor, the guys who shovels the driveway can inherit assets. After 15 years of being together, I hope your Dad does give his girlfriend something. Saying things in a public format isn't the same as having a Will in writing.
As for the sig-other not allowing you be part of your Dad's care, if she is the Medical Power of Attorney she can do that. Is that fair? Probably not. I have spent time with a family member at the hospital and the patient needs rest, no phone calls, and there isn't not much down time to call everyone to give updates.
There needs to be team effort here, extend the olive branch, try to get on the sig-other's good side, if at all possible. Sometimes family members will get overzealous at the hospital thus causing confusion and family yelling at each other. I do volunteer work at a hospital, and once in a great while I will see Security escorting a family out of the building.
As for the "sneaking out" talk, please note that when someone who is older is in the hospital, they can get very confused, usually this happens to 90% of elders. My Dad thought he was in a hotel the whole time. So ignore this type of talk.
Hope everything works out for everyone involved.
He wasn't a good father when you were little, and he's not a good father now. Bestow your love and attention on your husband, children, and friends.