Now after my precious grandma passed almost 4 months I been coming alive. What I mean is, after 9 years of care, you kind of forget you and living for you. My grandma left me the house and some cash, but my awful sisters who gave me so much trouble with gram are actually nice now. I've been helping some of them out only because that always been my nature. The other half of me feels like why are you helping them? That is your money and you took A plus care of gram and she left it to you because all you done. Now picture this, I also took care of my mom and dad as well. I have always taken care of people. So I want to move, but I hate hearing stories of how an evil sister I am. I didn't steal nothing from my sister's. Besides the point, I am still trying to recover from the hurt when I had to take care of our parents from afar and not one of them would lend a hand. Now they want me to help them? Any suggestions....
Come back and tell us how things are going.
It is now time to get some professional care so that you do not spend your life being a doormat for people to step on, and to throw away when it is too muddied by their constant dirt. No one gives doormats anything at all of thanks, of respect; doormats just get the boot when we are done with them.
Saints get statues, but you won't even get that for being shot full of their arrows.
The choice now is yours. Some people thrive on being a victim. There IS some reward for that, though very little. Some few people will look at you with great sadness and pity, and say "Oh, you are so good and they are so awful". But honestly, it isn't worth it.
Little story here. My best friend, who is a gay woman,was with a very narcissistic woman for years. She did everything for her, laundry, cooking, driving, I do mean everything. She became ill then, with cancer. The partner? She walked away. When my friend went to the shrink she was told "Hey, YOU were the one who broke the contract. The contract was working well for your partner. You gave and she took. Now you want something BACK? Nope. That wasn't the deal. And YOU are the one who broke the contract. It's all your fault".
Was that harsh? Yes. It was. But it was also true. We train people in what we expect from them. We train them to respect or disrespect, to be decent to us or not.
Just worth thinking about. If you are so sensitive that some twit calling you the "evil sister" is just too much to bear, I don't see lots of hope. For me, from that particular sister that's a compliment. It would mean I wasn't fulfilling her every wish any more. It would indicate I had grown up. It would mean I am not a trained rat in a maze, but a human being worthy of respect and care.
If so, stop. It isn't only that once you run out of money these people will again be nowhere to be seen. It's also that instead of being grateful to you for your help, these people will complain that you don't give them more. Even if you were to end up giving them more than you keep, they would still cling to the story that you took your grandmother's estate and left them out in the cold. This is how people behave when they have a need to justify themselves, a grievance and a sense of entitlement combined. It just is.
You REALLY need to stop listening to anything they have to say about you.
And if you want to move, move. Don't apologise, don't explain, just go.
I suggest you act as though you haven't any money and see what that will get you. My guess is that they are only coming around and acting nice until your money runs out, then they will return to their normal selves. Don't be snowed under! You deserve to have received the money from your Grandmother, she wanted to repay you for your kindness!
Let them talk all they want, you won't be there to listen.
When my dad died, my sister and I were guilted into turning over the small life insurance check that dad left for us --- so his wife could pay for his funeral. Mind you, Step mom (or "sheofwhomwenolongerspeak") had a great job in HR, making far more than I will dream of! She just "Didn't have anything liquid" at the time that she could get to. It was crazy! My aunt pulled me aside the next day and said "Your dad intended that money for you. Use it for YOUR family - kids need braces? use it. Roof needs repair? use it. You and DH would like to take a weekend away to a B&B? use it. He will not be here to help you and he would want to help you if he could. This is his way of helping/loving you -- take it, let him."
Same for you -- this money is your loved one's way of thanking you for all that you did in caring for them. Take it. Use it. Feel their appreciation and love each time you use it FOR YOURSELF! [[[hugs]]] to you, because it is very hard to do this, but you will be so much the better for it in the long run!!