My wife of 50+ years is currently in stage six of AD. When the care I’m able to provide no longer meets her needs, I’ll have to find a MC facility.
I read as much as I can but don’t see much written about whether or not I should bring her with me as I tour facilities.
The second time around we were all moving to a different state. I believe I looked at 5 different ones. Again I chose one that was close to my new home but also had a good reputation. I liked it. It was a little more expensive but didn't have entrance fees as some others did. One pays enough for AL generally that I find it wrong to pay a fee just to apply. I also looked at facilities with a friend whose husband has suffered a severe stroke. As you visit ones you will find you get a comparison that helps with decision making.
I have read all the replies to Your Question and all of the answers are out of the top drawer, just brilliant.
You should be very proud of Yourself as I find You are an incredible Gentleman, Caring for Your Dear Wife Who suffers from alzheimer's in Your mid 70's is the greatest expression of Love that any Man can give.
I was on this same journey with my MaMa for three years and it is very tough but I was in my mid 50's then.
We must remember that Persons Who suffer from AD or any brain disease can no longer think rationally, hence They
can not enter into Our World in thought or seeing things as they really are therefore when We want to reach them We must remember to step to the Left and join Our Love one in Her World.
I wish You Yohnny & Your darling Wife every Blessing and Peace.
Once you believe this is the place for her, have a second tour - with your wife.
I made this mistake when I took my husband with me on our first visit to a memory care.
Good luck.
advice:
1. Consider a third person to join you, who knows your spouse and can pitch in to help you.
2. Consider ways you can diffuse a meltdown before its full blown.
3. Make sure you have all prescrptions -- and hopefully backups in case one set gets lost.
4. Ask your doctor for advice -
5. Get plenty of sleep before going.
6. If flying, use a wheelchair to "treat" your spouse to extra attention. It's easier to control their possible "excursions" when you are distracted, and people will be likely to assist if necessary. Airline personell will be extra attentive, which should make your spouse feel good.
Hope this helps. We travellrd, untill it was not possible. I ended up exhausted each time, weathered multiple meltdowns, but husband enjoyed most of the trips.
I agree with others here, to bring another person with you preferably female as women see some things while men will see others - this is not sexist but fact so you might be seeing safety issues etc your female friend will notice table height & how clean things are - the more diverse your group is the more that will be seen but only have 1 more or 2 at maximum otherwise your group becomes unmanagable
THEN, when you're closer to moving her in, you can contact the sales person to arrange for your wife to come have a meal or take part in a program. She will probably not remember it and it will be confusing, but she may have some feeling of it being familiar when she moves in and you can take part in the activity with her so you get a sense of the routines before move in day.