My older brother is the main caregiver for my Mom. For over a month I have been trying to assist in her care because my brother sometimes acts like he can't do it. I got her on hospice care with nurses, cnas, massage therapy and counseling. I have been going to their house almost every day to meet these people and get them into the home. As well as randomly going in at other times to help clean her, spend time with her, check on the house, buy them groceries and other items, and other requested things. Almost every single time I go to the house my brother yells at me, insults me, tries to manipulate me (so that he can go out and gamble) or he crawls into his bed and covers his head up and refuses to speak. I can't handle the abuse anymore. I feel so bad because I should have put my mother in a nursing home rather than getting hospice care and leaving her with him. She says she wants to stay in the house with him. I just want to cry constantly and am under so much stress from my own life events, trying to navigate her care, and then ontop of all of it being verbally abused. I just want someone to tell me I am okay.
Your brother sounds as though he is stressed to the max (unless this has been his lifelong norm). He is diving under the covers, and he is wanting to go out to the casinos? Sounds like he truly needs a break. I think we can't know if you are talking gambling addiction or just loving the trip to the casino for a break (I adore that occasionally and miss it).
Have you had a normally great relationship with your bro that is now deteriorating, or has it always been a little adversarial.
Can't say how much I admire your trying to help; and I would hope you will continue to do that to the best of your ability.
And hey, I think you are better than OK. You are trying to help, and are frustrated. We all have our problems and we all have our limitations. Try to be as gentle and loving with all as you are able, and as understanding. That's about the best you can really do.