Should I, as the sole POA, for our mother feel obligated to discuss plans for our mother with the sibs, keep them informed. You have to know how difficult it is to be the sole caregiver among 6 sibs with the majority of them criticizing my every move. I feel like I have had enough, it takes a lot of my energy and time to keep them all informed and all I get in response is selfish crap that what I am doing doesn't suit them for one reason or another that has nothing to do with our mother. It's very draining, I don't need to be put down, they aren't involved enough to even have a helpful discussion. Help! What are my obligations to them as our mother's POA?
Best to you on your caregiving journey,
Hap
They only way any of us can become a door mat is to lie down. Use some tough love on them. If they get offended at least you will have some lovely peace and quiet. If they offer their "advice" tell them that it would be far more helpful if they would come and stay with your Mom while you take a break. That should help them keep the lips zipped.
Heaven knows this journey is tough enough...do not open the door to these energy vampires.
Peace,
Lilli
PS it will also cause you stress as they will question and suggest and try and tell you what to do, its not worth it, Its hard enough being the caretaker as it is, I wish mine would fall off the face of the earth to tell you the truth. You will find the ones who flap their mouths the most, do the least. haha have to laugh, but its true. Keep up the good work!
I did all of what the above people suggested,but they only helped for the first 2 yrs after that everyone of them weasled there way out of the obligation,so now I dont feel any remorse or regret in telling them anything,they dont call and dont come to see her. Recently i moved for financial reasons,and one of the sisters had the odasity of calling and telling me that I took Mom to far away and I have a problem. Yes! i do I responded the problem is them they knew where I lived for 6 1/2 yrs and no one came by to pick her up or visit or call I have not changed my number in 7yrs. So in my anger I told her, I am not keeping our Mom from any of you INFACT I WILL PERSONALLY TAKE MOM TO SEE YOU AND PACK HER BAG FOR A MONTH SO YOU CAN GET RE-Nuited,Do you know what she did-SHE MY SISTER HUNG UP ON ME. Imagine that the minute I put the ball in there court. I say do what you must God and your parent are those who Matter! Let the siblings wallow in there self-pity. Nothing you do will be good enough!!!
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