This is not to cause a debate, but I'm against the flu vaccine, but I'm a caretaker for my Mom. I'm really having a huge conflict over this. I would also feel like a hypocrite taking the flu shot when I'm a writer and post articles about the dangers of the vaccine. But now, my mother's immunity is at stake since she is going for chemo and radiation - even if it's stage 0. (Thank God.) But it goes against every fiber of my being to take this shot. Is there anyone else out there that is a caregiver who is against the vaccine, who now takes it just to make sure their loved ones don't get sick? Once I stopped taking the vaccine years ago, I never got the flu again. It was only when I was actively getting the shots come autumn. Any advice?
With your mom, it is important to WASH YOUR HANDS and to stay away from big family parties where sneezing and coughing is all too common. Of course at Thanksgiving, when you pass the side dishes, you pass all your germs too.
Think about it, flu season takes off after the winter holidays. Why? because we all shared germs at the gatherings.
The doctor, of course, didn't believe the cause and effect, so he noted in her file that she was allergic to it. She hasn't had a flu shot in 15 years. She's 87. And won't be getting another. Ever.
I don't get flu vaccinations and have no plans to start.
No matter what recommendation I got for mom, I would not get her vaccinated.
One recent year when H1N1 was making the rounds, while my age group had some partial immunity form years past, my poor son was sick as a dog with it for two sold weeks, and I was ill for just a day and a half. But it was a good reminder not to compare "flu-like illness" with the real thing - I really thought I was gonna die, and felt bad enough that didn't seem like such a bad idea. That's fairly specific to actual infuenza, most other viral infections just don't hold a candle to it.
that being said, I get the vaccine every year because I work with young kids. I last had the flu about 15 years ago and realized that if the house caught fire, I was so incapacitated, I would'n't be able to get down the stairs and out of the house, I was that sore and unable to get out of bed. At this point, I'm trying hard not to infect my mom with a transmission from any of the little kids I'm around. So you really have to judge your own risk of exposure.
My cousin is gay. She took care of my aunt through a terminal illness recently, and had been her main support (along with her husband, not my cousin's father but actually a third marriage) for many years, out in Colorado. And she held the rest of us a bit at arm's length I think out of fear we would sit around judging her, but we didn't, and we are grateful to her for making Aunt Pat's life a little better and being there at the end. My cousin went through a lot of emotions and kept them close to the vest for the most part. Whatever else happens, you care for some people who need you. What can you do but love them, and love yourself the best you can. Feeling angry is being human. Feeling suicidal means you need to reach out for help. You got some perspectives on your life you don't agree with...it's OK. If it makes you realize your choices are good ones and defensible, so much the better. If it makes you realize you know your own life better than anyone else, that can't hurt either. Angry (outwards, towards others or towards the situation) is healthier than anger turned inwards (aka depression.)
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