Should I go get mom from NH? She's not getting proper medication, she's supposed to be on. They never talk to me about her condition.

You get a bill for $7, 000 three times a month and she is on Medicaid? This does not compute to me.

Why was your mother put into a nursing home to begin with? If she could not be cared for at home (hers or yours) adequately because of her dementia and other conditions, she cannot be cared for now in the home either. Don't take her home.

If you're the one with her POA then you're the one in charge. If she's supposed to be on certain medications, you DEMAND that they start giving them to her.

The denying of some medications is pretty common with nursing homes if they want more money or they want a resident out. I have seen this happen. The wya to handle it is to not only tell your mother's doctors they are refusing her these medications, but tell their administrator that you will go to the police if they refuse her the doctor- prescribed meds that she's supposed to be on.

Don't take their crap. I've been in caregiving for a long time and have seen this situation happen many times in nursing homes. They even tried to pull it on me with my father when he was placed. Nursing home administration staff do not respond to politeness and civility from the concerned family of a resident.
The only respond to nastiness, viciousness, and being sneakier and more underhanded than they are. You have to police their actions 24/7.

Communicate with your mother's state Medicaid caseworker. You're the POA, so they will talk to you. Ask them if Medicaid has been paying the nursing home and if they have to please send you a written proof of this. They will.
I'd be willing to bet that Medicaid has been paying all along. So pay them nothing until you have found out either way. If they are then you will owe Medicaid, not the nursing home and Medicaid doesn't come collecting until a person dies and their estate gets probated.

Also, start looking for a better facility for your mother. For the most part they all operate like the one she's currently in, but some offer better physical care of their residents.

If you have her medical POA, you can also withdraw her from the nursing home any time you want. You may have to prove that you can provide adequate care for her outside the facility in a private home. You may not have to. This does not mean that you should take her out of the facility. Find a different one.

Don't allow them to do the classic nursing home shakedown on you for $7,000 a month. Talk to Medicaid. See if they've been paying before you pay one dime. The nursing home takes a person's monthly income when Medicaid is paying. That doesn't mean you write a $7,000 check every month also.

My mother was also on Medicaid in NH after some time of private pay. My dad was never billed, and you shouldn’t be either, unless it’s a statement, not an invoice. There is no excuse for meds not being given. Your choices are to request a meeting with the administration, director of nursing, or go straight to the ombudsman and discuss your concerns. It’s also your right to move your mother, however, please consider since it’s true that mom needs NH level care, if that is truly sustainable in a home setting, or if a better NH is the answer

Transferring to another NH may be a possibility. But do not take her home.

You say you are reviewing her Humana summary.
Is her medication, her MD, and her care provider still humana?
Do know that there are no medications for memory that are currently PROVEN to work, and as they are very expensive they are often not given in Medicaid provided nursing home care.

You should request a review of medications with your mom's current doctor and then with copies of his orders, discuss with administration at the Nursing Home. It isn't clear to me if your mother currently has her own MD or if the nursing home has an MD assigned. If she is on Medicaid she may not be a Humana patient.

Do request an administration meeting for discussion of her medications, the medications her MD wants her on, and a review of the care plan that would dictate "holding medication" below certain blood pressure reading (this is ordered by her Medical Doctor or Nurse Practioner).

If you are Mom's current POA and responsible for her care, you certainly can remove her with adequate proof of 24/7 care, though you must do this through administration, and if they have any reason to suspect this is an unsafe discharge they may notify APS and discuss with them and with you together.
We can't know anything about your case here, so this is really in your hands, and in the hands of the facility where YOU (I assume) placed your mother.
As to whether you can simply waltz in and say "let's go"? No. You can't.

If you mother was at any point removed from your care and placed in facility case by another entity, and if her placement involves conservatorship or APS, state guardianship, or other complications, then this is a legal case in which you could NOT remove her from care, and you would need to consult an attorney.

All good suggestions. Mine would be, is she handing over her Social Security and any pension she may receive? If not, she should be. Did you get a letter from Medicaid saying she was approved and the start date? Was Mom in the NH with Medicaid pending? Maybe for that time period Medicaid did not pay so Mom owes it? Talk to Medicaid if this is so.

Is there a POA on file with the NH for financial and medical? If not, get them a copy. They must talk to you. They should have a care meeting within a few days of admitting and one every 3 months.

She has low blood pressure, then she does not need a B/P pill it will just lower it more. I am surprised they still have her on Cholesterol Meds. (if Statins they contribute to Dementia) Really not needed at this stage. Same with the cognitive meds, after a point, they don't work. I would question not giving her stomach meds though. I have bad pains if I don't take mine.

If you get nowhere with these people, call your Ombudsman, the NH should have the # posted. If not, you can find it under State Government. You can transfer Mom to another NH.

Just a thought...has the State taken over Moms care? Ifvdom you POA is voided.

You can remove her just say " I am taking her home and Please do the paperwork for discharge . " Takes a Hour and a half .

So sorry to hear of another nursing home neglect story. Over 60% of elderly and family are opting for care at home for a reason! My 81 year old Mom with NPH dementia and PD was pleased on meds for behaviors and it rendered her bedridden and wheelchair bound. As her POA I sent her to an inpatient skilled nursing to get her moving again. While at work, they shipped her off to a behavioral center where she was overly medicated and in a locked down environment where I could not visit her in her living quarters. I sent the local police to do a wellness check and the next day discharge papers were prepared to send her to a skilled nursing home for medication adjustment and physical therapy. I visited her daily (lots of pop ups ant different times) and within weeks, I noticed her health declining. After the executive director, nursing director and medical directors refused to answer verbal and written requests for clinicals (including medication dosage), and concerns of their neglect- I contacted 911 to have her transferred to a nearby ER where they diagnosed her with a thyroid storm, kidney injury, UTI headed to sepsis, dehydration etc. The clinicals revealed that she wasn’t given her medications and couldn’t participate in PT. I contacted both Medicare and the Ombudsman and Medicare. Please note: the Ombudsman seemed to focus on how well he knew the Executive Director and the owners and that they knew better… After calling around, I found a skilled nursing only facility who helped to restore her mobility to a point where I could bring her home. A good diet, prayer, exercise and replacement of antipsychotics and “memory meds” with CBD oil and coconut oil massages… has restored her to the point of good health and mobility. She is jogging behind her walker on daily walks. Her neurologist discourages the use of antipsychotics for behaviors by the way. Seemingly the Parkinson’s symptoms were triggered by the meds. She no longer has tremors or any other PD symptoms. Bottom line, we need to admit that these facilities are a problem and they are fox are guarding the hen house. Take your loved one home, get a good caregiver to support you in a well thought out person centered care plan and advocate for your Mom to the team of doctors, nurses, aides and specialists who support your Mom in her journey of healing and comfort.

Read: https://canhr.org/how-to-file-a-complaint-against-a-nursing-home/

How To File a Complaint / Stage 1 – Filing the Complaint /

Who Can File a Complaint?

Any person (not just residents or their family members) or organization can file a complaint about a nursing home with the Licensing and Certification Division of the California Department of Public Health (DPH). DPH is the state agency that enforces nursing home laws and regulations through regular inspections and complaint investigations. File a complaint with DPH when problems are serious and/or other steps to resolve your concerns have not been effective.

What Can I File a Complaint About?

You can file a complaint about abuse, neglect and any other matter protected by law. For example, you can file a complaint about violations of your rights, poor care, lack of staffing, unsafe conditions, mistreatment, improper charges, transfer and discharge concerns, and a failure to readmit you after a hospital stay.

In Addition to Filing a Complaint with DPH

Although you are not required to try other dispute remedies first, it is usually best to do so.

Start by communicating with staff of the facility or a family council if one exists. Another option is contacting the long term care ombudsman office in your county for assistance. The ombudsman program helps residents resolve concerns about their care and rights. The program does not have power or authority over the nursing home, however, an ombudsman can address the complaint with the nursing home, advocate on a resident’s behalf and express concerns with outside officials.

If your concerns are not resolved, file a complaint with DPH.

Where Do I File a Complaint?

File your complaint with the DPH District Office that oversees the nursing home in question. Consult DPH’s online directory of district offices to identify the office that is responsible for investigating your complaint.

You can also file a complaint online through the DPH Cal Health Find website. When you do so, DPH will direct your complaint to the District Office that is responsible for investigating it. It is best to keep a written record of your online complaint by printing a copy when you submit it.

How Do I File a Complaint?

Complaints may be made orally or in writing. If you phone in a complaint, it is best to follow up with a written complaint to ensure that there is a paper trail. You can write your own complaint letter or use the attached complaint form CANHR has prepared.

Written complaints can be submitted to DPH District Offices by mail, fax, email or, as noted above, through the Cal Health Find website.
DPH should confirm receipt of your complaint within two days of receipt, inform you of the complaint number for your complaint and give you the name of the assigned complaint investigator and the investigator’s contact information. Contact DPH immediately if you do not receive this information.

What Information Should I Include in My Complaint?

Give facts on what happened, such as when and how often it occurred, who was involved, and how the resident was harmed or affected by mistreatment or other types of violations. Be brief, concise and complete.

Taking notes or keeping a written log will help you to retrieve specifics later.
Identify each issue separately in your complaint if you want more than one concern to be investigated.

Include the following information in your complaint when applicable.
Your complaint should include:

Name and address of the facility
Your name, address, phone number, and relation to the resident
Name of the resident on whose behalf the complaint is made
Date(s) and time(s) of incidents
Specific complaints
Names of witnesses (including other health care providers, such as hospital personnel or paramedics)
Names of staff, if relevant to the complaint
Records that should be examined

Keep copies of everything - phone calls, who what when, follow-up.
You need a trail / track record.

Gena / Touch Matters

That's only theTip of the iceberg. Sounds like she's got good feeling about the Blood Pressure. There's generally no human care unless you have a special person come in, but they don't stay very long. They've drive the good responsive employees away. I've been here a year and a 1/2 and I know. the human care. They don't give her. It's crimes against humanity. Take her home and do whatever you can maybe get a group home going. But these places that are only profit. There for-profit, not patients, and have state investigate the income, the revenue and if the state audits them actually forget about that, get her home. Get the neighborhood to help her put in time with you.I'm in one now and i'm suffering , but i'm not gonna put the load on my family. We've had a good life. It's, sinful to let us live like this. The last few years of our Lives. It's the personification of satan. Most who draw a paycheck are low life bottom feeders whatever their race. Years ago, they used to keep us at home till we died. Listen to the staff. They're laughing and partying because they have to stay detached. Or their'll be affected mentally. They could become an angel of mercy. Look that 1 up.

I first 'tried' to work with an Ombudsman - wanting to get the issue resolved, not just report. After ample considerate time - realizing that wasn't / didn't result in any changes, I filed an OFFICIAL complaint with the licensing board of the nursing home.

What did this do?

They made (make) two unannounced visits to the nursing home. If they do not find anything 'wrong' on that particular day, they do nothing. Although they come back one more time. Same thing. If nothing seems 'wrong,' there is nothing they do - or apparently can do.

I also photographed everything throughout several visits OVER SEVERAL MONTHS ... and sent these to the Umbudsman, as well as the licensing board representative.

License board response: I am a third party and they cannot use or consider my photos 'evidence.' I wasted my time. Nothing changed ... although that was due to how things 'appeared' on their two unannounced visits. I tried.

THESE NURSING HOMES NEED TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE.

If I were to do it again, I would cc my supervisors, congress-man-woman, and even the Oval office (now, before the next election). Also I would post the issues on Facebook and/or on line media. Contact local news media. Put as much focus on the issues as possible.

Gena / Touch Matters

Don't I'm in Ohio and I ran out of regulatory agencies.The ohio department of health came down just looked at diet not 24 hour care. And quality. Look in on the bedridden ones. It's like a veterinarian's cages. They're all a conspiracy. I'm telling you and I've lived two good Careers department head for for cities in I'll, Mich. TEXAS and afterward a clergy. I know what I'm talking about. They are like frozen in years and they're like the staff and the therapist they're in the realm of It's satan behind them but they don't know it. Like I said elsewhere they're are always laughing out loud to stay detached. They all live like should be not how it is.

Goodness. If if were my mother, I would get her out and no one would be stopping me. I don't need permission from anyone to do what is right for my loved ones. But.....that's me.....

Nevertheless, if you're uncertain about what to do, put yourself in your mother's shoes. She is at the mercy of the people who are caring for her - or not - whatever the case may be.

I am a firm believer in a couple of things.
1. I will never leave a helpless loved one anywhere that I, myself would not want to be.
2. Everyone - especially the elderly and helpless - deserve the best care that we can give them. Sometimes that's in a facility.... sometimes that's in the home, depending on the personal variables.

I'm able to care for my 97 year old mother in my home. It has been a very difficult season, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I have 3 sitters who help me, so I'm able to get out 4 afternoons each week. I use my mother's VA benefits to pay for the sitters. She has been under Hospice care for 14 months which has been a much-appreciated support.

Honestly, I can't imagine spending anywhere near $7K per month to care for her.

The largest expense is her sitters and that rarely goes over $1K per month. If you paid a sitter $25.00 per hour for 40 hours each week, that adds up to $4333.00 per month. A bargain compared to what you're paying now and, you have the added bonus of not having to go behind the administration and staff at a facility.

Do not sign an arbitration agreement, when taking her home. You are not required to do so.

TouchMatters: The only way we can do anything is for those who follow us for those saints who come after us. And that's to make states and federal government change and it will take too big a movement. But I'm willing to get it with you as long as I have 82.... I have a model for community organization. Could spread in all 50 states. I'd ride my Congressman, my 2 senators. And every regulatory agency in Ohio. You can think of they're all on the door they make an effort and say they tried and proceed years too. You have to kick it will be an uphill battle. I think it was. Congressman Landsmam his bouy Jason called me. Listen to me for a while and said it. 's that way all over. That's what you're gonna get out of any of them. They're just earning their money off of us. They're pay Benefits and retirement. And say thank you sucker. The National Nurses United out of California. Ya think that would do it but they seem to be in it just for themselves their sisters and brothers. The male nurses show their authority but are smucks.

My friend had that with her father and made a complaint
she at times linking to him on video and he wasn’t shaved or look like washed. Luckily the complaint worked
maybe a tactful meeting with the head there if you think they won’t take it out on your parent- and say there are signs your father isn’t getting the care he should and you want to be updated on x y and z
if you feel that wint or hadn’t worked if look for a new my

Melgill: Speak to her physician posthaste. We are not medical physicians here on the forum. It is imperative that her proper medications be administered.

If you are her Activated POA, I believe you can go in and get her whenever you want. They will say she's leaving AMA (Against Medical Advice), but that's your right. I had a patient just last week whose son did just that. He said they weren't happy, but that's ok. You need to advocate and protect her. I am a Nurse of 30 yrs and have absolutely had it with medications and lack of patient education and follow up! I am offering my advice and time to you if you'd like me to review and give advice on the med regimen.

Blessings. Diana

I think you should consult an Elder Law Attorney for legal advise, just to be safe. You can get paid by the government if you want to be her caregiver instead. Being a caregiver is a tough job. But it’s your mother. I’m sure you will take a much better job caring for her than Nursing Home. I heard awful things about NH. They’re just after the big bucks! My opinion, yes you should get her out of NH if you are willing to take care of her full time. Good luck to you 🙏❤️

Reach out to your local Ombudsmen asap.

If the staff don't talk to you, who told you Mom has been not given or her prescribed medication? Are the medications listed on the summary you mentioned?

What reason has been noted on the NH's file regarding them? Eg
Not prescribed?
Not available?
Refused?
Unable to swallow?

Should be an easy phone call to the Manager to ask?

Nursing Homes aren't supposed to be prisons, but many operate as if they are - as if they "own" the residents. And virtually that I have seen, encountered, or heard about from others, engage in what I refer to as "institutionalized neglect." And the more care you need, the less you will get proportional to your needs.

Generally, residents can decide to leave, but there are a couple of exceptions. This article is a good summary: https://www.nursinghomes.com/advice/can-you-leave-a-nursing-home/

Another option is to engage an attorney. Unfortunately, many nursing home personal injury attorneys will only take pretty egregious cases - what I call the "low hanging fruit." But it may be worth a call. Here is a link to the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys: https://naela.org//

You can also file a complaint with your state agency that is supposed to (but probably doesn't do a very good job) oversee nursing homes. In my case, once I filed a complaint, the facility illegally banned my visitation. It took two months to get before a judge, who ordered "immediate access." The facility was eventually cited for violating my mother's rights under both federal and state law - but there were still two months of agony. The facility then attempted to discharge my mother without any legal basis. I filed for a hearing, and the facility lost. But they were never cited for that illegal action (turns out one of the facility's attorneys was(is) married to the chief enforcer of the state agency that oversees nursing homes.) So given all that, IF you want to file a complaint in S.C. here is the link:
https://scdhec.gov/healthcare-quality/healthcare-facility-licensing/health-facility-cna-abuse-complaints

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I spent 5+ years daily, visiting, caring for and advocating for my mother who was financially stuck in what was labeled a "high-end" facility. As I have said many times, given the facility where my mom resided was consider "one of the best" in the area, the bar is so low you would stub your toe going over it.

If she is on Medicaid, why are you getting a bill--3 times/month? When you say she's not getting the medication she's supposed to be on, do you know if her prescriptions have been changed recently? As someone else stated, there are no meds that have been proven to help with memory, so she could have ben taken off that medication. If she is in a nursing home, she may be being followed by the nursing home doctors. As someone else asked, if she is on Medicaid, what is Humana's involvement? You need to get some more info before you decide to try to take her out, and we need some more info before we can give you responsible advice! I know you are very upset, but be careful not to make a rash decision that you might regret later.

I feel like there is a lot of backstory that you're not posting here
why won't they talk to you You're POA?
Have You talked to the director of nursing?
Have You talked to the administrator?
What are your plans if you do decide to remove Mom from the nursing home?
Before anyone here can give any advice we should probably know the whole story seems like there is something missing Am I right?

I haven’t read through all of the responses.

If your mother is on Medicaid why are you receiving a monthly bill?

As far as medication goes speak with the Don. If that doesn’t work go to your ombudsman in your area and make a complaint.

I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time. Wishing you all the best.