My parents both have dementia wanted to contact their MIA daughter who is my sister (one of the 3 sibs who are zero help to me or who have maintained any contact at all with parents) . I went ahead and gave (their caregiver) the number hoping that she wouldn't call them back. She has zero interest in them other then having an eye for any assets she might inherit.
Unfortunately, she did call them back and has them all jazzed up about a hair brained scheme between her and my brother to take them back to their lake house (in an attempt to get ahold of their assets). My brother has since abandoned the scheme as it wasn't quite lucrative enough for him. (I have evidence that this sister has ripped them off before.)
My sister talks to them like they don't have dementia and tells them about my other sister's marital problems.. who she is now living etc. She asks them to come visit her (across the country).
I never know if I should try to discourage them from contacting these sibs or allow them to and just deal with the consequences. I'm not sure what all the consequences will be for this call.. my sister may start calling me and wanting input into their care (all involved in saving the assets for her to inherit later).
I am in the process of looking for a higher level of care for them now.. and I surely don't need this. On the other hand.. I don't know if I should keep them from speaking to her.
So its a dilemma.... I will find out tonight how much of this they remember.. ugh... right now they are just beside themselves with glee... talking to their "golden" daughter. I wouldn't be surprised if they were all packed up by the time I get over there.
:(
My parents cant even remember what they had for lunch an hour later.. so not sure what they will remember but it may cause anxiety/agitation later.
No... no way can they handle any kind of travel.. hopefully it was just talk that will die down.
I agree with her history she is probably just thinking of the money. I hope you have control of the money. I doubt they will have forgotten about it if they were so elated. I would just go along with them and agree if was wonderful that she had surfaced and contacted them. Just wait and step in if needed.
Also, if siblings don't show due regard for people who have dementia and they expose them to situations they can't handle, long distance travel, routine upset, lack of medical care, etc. it could be harmful. I'd try to have the authority to do that.
But a stop to this before your parents get hurt